Am I ashamed of calling myself a gamer?
Do I really feel embarassed to call myself a gamer? Am I letting one aspect of my life take too much control of the other parts?
Hello once again g1s to a blog that's a bit more serious than the last few I've penned. Just a heads up, this one involves a bit of introspection and some inner conflict involving my identity as a gamer. A bit of deep thought never hurt anyone though.
The other day I had the privilege of watching Tom the Iron Man do a 12-hour stream for the SGC Kickstarter. During the stream a conversation started up between people in the chat about how much we identify ourselves as gamers and how much we love the community here on ScrewAttack. More than one person there agree that some of our closest friends we haven't even met in real life; that moment got me thinking: have I let gaming become such a big part of who I am that I can only relate to other gamers now? That thought was immediately followed by another: should it even matter?
No doubt this is a bridge that many of us have already crossed or will come to cross in our lifetimes. Let's lay this out right now: gaming is a hobby; I love it and I don't mind spending time and money on it. Gaming has kept me entertained during snow days at home from school, on the boring days of summer, it has helped me to relax after stressful days, it led me to ScrewAttack, and it has even saved my life (literally). Despite these things I sometimes find myself questioning why I spend as much time on games (and ScrewAttack for that matter) as I do, and I'm even embarrassed to admit how much time I spend on them to friends and family who aren't gamers themselves.
I believe part of the answer may lie in the social stigma still tied to the medium. While gaming has become mainstream, most people will own one or two consoles with a handful of games, the idea of a hardcore gamer to non-gamers still seems to be people who just sit around all day in front of a tv or monitor. I certainly know that to not be the case, but often times when I say that I spend most of my free time playing video games to others I seem to get this look of either, "Oh really? Okay whatever" or "Oh...you're a total shut-in then. This is awkward now.” The former may not bother me but the latter can be somewhat disconcerting. This is doubly so when it's your own family. I grew up with video games but I think that some of my family just expected me to "grow out of it" and continue to see it as juvenile. They won't ever say anything but I can see it on their face and in their eyes and hear it in their voice. I've just given up saying that I spend my free time playing games because of this.
Right about now you're probably thinking that I shouldn't give a care what others think and that they just don't understand. Well there is a great deal of truth in that. Most people have a live-and-let-live approach to what others choose to do with their time and even the members of my family who look down on gaming are a minority (my dad's a bit of a gamer himself when he has the time). The problem is when I get the disappointment or awkward look/reaction from people that I expect to understand where I'm coming from. A dear friend of mine from college fits this perfectly.
You see, when I was in college I had a small group of friends and just about all of us where pretty into gaming (Steam mostly since we could all play together easily). Since then we've all graduated and gotten jobs (although most of us still play with each other online all the time), as luck would have it one of my friends from that group actually got me a job at the company he works for. Although we are both self-professed gamers, something seems different now than before. Now when I talk about gaming news or a game that I'm looking forward to my friend will seem disinterested and distant. When I expressed my interest in the Steam Summer Sale he laughs and says, "Just torrent that s***!" Even hinting at my interest at going to a gaming convention earns his laughter and may even end up being told to some of our co-workers. Needless to say, my faith in our friendship has been shaken.
Feels kinda like that when a close friend ridicules who you are.
This matter ties in with my second concern made evident when I took my job because I had to move to a different city where I knew very few people. Between my friendships being shaken and knowing very few people where I live now, it should come as no surprise that I sought the familiar comfort of video games and the gaming community here at ScrewAttack. Since I've moved to my new city I've been more active than I ever have been on this site because I feel welcomed and no one will bat an eye at anything nerdy I might say. There are some great people on this site too who seem genuinely happy to talk with me about pretty much anything.
However, I have to wonder if I'm simply feeding a vicious circle by spending my time online and on games than by going out and meeting people or drinking with my aforementioned friend all the time. It's not always just the common problem of starting to play a game and then being surprised that you've spent the last 6 hours on it either. If I think of things that I could do or extended an offer to do something, I'll start weighing that against staying at my apartment playing whatever I happen to be playing at the time. And if an entire weekend goes by and all I've done is play games then by the time I go to work on Monday I wonder if I even HAD a weekend at all. But the times when I do go out I usually have no one to go with; going to things like a shopping mall, a movie, or museum just don't seem as fulfilling when you're by yourself.
So what's the point in all this? Am I going to quit ScrewAttack and majorly cut back on the gaming? Probably not, this site and gaming mean too much to me. I love the antics of Craig and the Crew, I love hearing from a devoted and accepting community, and I love to look at my games and think that I have actually achieved something by playing and/or beating them. But the question still remains: have I let gaming take over too big a piece of my life and should I be concerned about admitting my hobby to others? To the latter, no; if they pass judgment on me based on who I am and what I do with my free time then they're not worth fretting over. But the former... the former I can't seem to answer right now. Perhaps it will come to me in time but for now I'm still conflicted. Still searching for an answer that I may already know but can't accept. Still wondering. Still gaming.
-Caboose
(By the way, if any g1s out there have any advice or similar musings, I'd love to hear it)
» Tagged In: #community, #community showcase, #family, #Free Time, #friends, #gamer, #life, #question, #Screwattack, #Tom the Iron Man, #torrent
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g1 DISCUSSIONS
TommieChari48
Very interesting subject, thank you for putting up. vigrx plus I reckon something genuinely interesting about your website so I saved to bookmarks.
Chikumo
This was a great read Caboose. And I can really relate to it in the way that the people I can really call friends have I found online, here at ScrewAttack.
The "stigma" surrounding gaming is certainly not a good thing, (Any form of ignorance has never been good) And while everyone says that one should not care about the opinion of others, I know what you mean when you talk about that look of awkward dissapointment. It's not a nice experience.
JHawk99
I some times feel the same way caboose. And I may be able to get away with talking about games because my age, but if people think I'll just grow out of it they're WRONG. Gaming is a big part of my life, its my escape alot of stressful things have occurred in my life over the last 2 years and it really helps to know there's always something I enjoy doing to fall back on when I need it. Does it take up a little more time than it should? Probably but, that doesn't mean I'm ashamed of my hobby, nor will I ever be. I wouldn't be the same person with out it and I think I can say the same for others on this site. So Caboose if they pass judgement let them, just don't let it change who you are.
supermatt64
I often think about this too as well. Although I dont really get any discerning looks from anybody from my hardcore game love, I too still feel sometimes that is has become a big part of my life, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Games are just are just like any other medium like books or movies. However if you do feel that your gaming too much you should find a new hobby or interest. I know how it feels when your going out by yourself, and its just the same as going out with friends, because few friends understand you for who you are. While I recognize that fact I don't really let that get to me. Yeah it sucks when you cant share your passion with someone, but I believe that's is why communities like ScrewAttack are here for.
I wouldn't Stress over this too much, Im sure you will find your answer soon. Please make a another blog on your solution to your problem an I am interested in what your conclusion will be.
Stay screwy Caboose :)
caboose_-1
Thanks for the feedback. I may do a response blog a bit farther down the line just as an update. I kind of wish I could edit this current blog to thank everyone for their feedback (although I guess I could just make a whole new one saying that).
There is one problem I have with this blog though, I think I gave everyone the wrong impression that gaming is my ONLY hobby and that I never go out and do anything. While I do spend more time than I should on gaming and need more balance (as everyone has been advising) I do to the gym several times a week (I'm actually on a first-name basis with a lot of the staff now) and go running/hiking at a local park at least once a week. Still, wouldn't hurt to do more.
zoltanben90
I felt the same way as you did in this blog till I heard Craig say on a Sidescrollers along the line of have other interests outside of gaming. I realized yes gaming is a huge chunk of my life but so is wrestling, mma, and I have some friends who dont even own anything game related outside of their Iphones.
With all that said I am not ashamed of my hobby at all. All gaming is to me is just 1 more trait that makes me the person who I am. Don't be afraid to embrace the person you are.
some_other_guy
It's not video games that lead you or anybody else to become a shut in, it's the people who call you a shut in that direct you that way. You don't have to find friends that like everything you do, just one thing is good enough. If video games are all you really like, then that's fine. But just because somebody doesn't like what you like can they alienate you. Bottom line, do what you love and makes you happy.
Emblem
Whilst I in no degree have a fulfilling answer, I can tell you how I worked with it, and still do. Games are fun. That's the basic. However, they are designed to entice you, pull you in, and keep you playing. I've logged way too many hours on Skyrim simply because it keeps getting better and unexpected things happen a lot. That said, you should look at what you want. No matter what you do, who you are, if people don't judge you, then you're in paradise. An unseen utopia. I would suggest trying new things. You see, if gaming is all, then you start wondering, as you did, if you had weekends at all. Because you did nothing new. Not the games, but the gaming itself loses a bit of it's shine. It's like seeing COD:MW 3 with all the huge explosions and nukes...after you just experienced that as well in it's previous installments. It might be too much to fully enjoy. Games do get extremely fun when left lying around for some time If you'd try new things (A lot of them are suggested in other posts) then you could connect with other people on different things, and still pop in a game now and again. It's not completely one way or the other. Screwattack is not gone if you visit a bowling alley. And you might just find people in other social things that also share a like in gaming. That one friend at your job chose his path, and chose to shun his past as a gamer. No biggie. Go drinking with him and find new interests (or not) and accept it. As long as you are open and do what you like (Don't drink or go polevaulting if you don't want to try it) He could still be a good friend, and if not, too bad. Getting stuck ain't helping in that matter. There's probably a lot of people out there who'd be happy with your company....and you always have ScrewAttack as a back-up ;)
ThatBendingUnit
After reading your post Caboose, I immediately created an account here just so I can share my own experiences with you. As a student going through his junior year of High School (Fresh from a move too.), I can somewhat relate to what you're going through as I'm just starting to meet new people. I always loved to game since I was three, yet I find it hard to just try to connect with anyone with the topic as many of my peers are concerned with their own cars or first jobs. Although I too am excited about these things, I suddenly began to wonder how would my favorite hobby fit into my life in the future. When I'm at Collage? When I'm an Adult? When I have a family of my own? I looked back in my short lifetime and realized "Hey, there may be a way I can fit this into any of these categories with other things". I will always be gamer at heart and will be interested in it for a very long time, but that also isn't the only thing I enjoy. Running, Painting, and even Dancing are just one of the many other things I recently started to enjoy as well. Basically long story short, I will eventually be pretty busy in my life, but every now and then I'll still slip in a Game Disc (Or sometimes a good ol' cart.) in and enjoy it. Keep on gaming!
Solid Snake613
Games are fun. Anyone who looks down at you for having fun is the one who should be ashamed. Games don't change who you are. You could be a jerk who wants to be alone and like anything from games to books to movies. It doesn't change who you are. If people don't like you for who you are and for what you do than screw 'em. You will find people that share your interest. It helps that the gaming community is becoming larger each and every day. Nobody should be ashamed for declaring that they love video games.