Ask the Experts: Love Me, Filthy Peasants!
A Zero 2 Hero
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Special thanks to BenNiGeLing for the thumbnail.
Hey folks, guess who's back?
Welcome to a brand new episode of Ask the Experts, the only show where ignorance is encouraged. Well, after four long weeks with which you probably didn't care, Ask the Experts has returned from hiatus. Now, you may be asking yourself,
And that's a good question. In short, it was a combination of writer's block and me just being very busy. As a result, this week only has three questions, but it should pick up very soon. Thanks for your patience, and enjoy the show.
P.S. I don't know what's going on with Dallinag and Flapperdoodle Take On E3, so just consider that DOA.
In modern hack 'n' slashers these days (like Devil May Cry, God of War etc.), there's most likely a type of dodge or roll that the protagonist can use to..well dodge attacks. No matter how massive, how direct the enemy attack is, even if the attack is right on target, the protagonist can just roll through it and remain unscathed. What is the secret of this roll?
Icipall: That's because they do not actually "avoid" the attack, they simply make their atoms flow through the atoms of the attack by sheer force of will, bad-assitude, et cetera. All the rolls and such are just for the show. This is serious science, people!
caboose_-1: Not just hack 'n' slashers man, this is a conspiracy that goes to the heart of all video games. Rumor has it that back in the early 90s, a shadow organization of all the higher ups in the video game industry needed to create the perfect defense through rolling. Sonic is said to be the prototype, his rolling genes have been spliced and put into various video game characters to varying effect. Link had a strange reaction in that his allowed him to survive falls from incredible heights. However, the only characters that fully took to it were those that wielded swords (or their fists) and had an unquenchable bloodthirst; that made hack 'n' slashers the perfect subjects.
BenNiGeLing: The unknown secret of the dodge roll dodge move in modern hack 'n' slashers these days (sorry, I'll stop now) is as simple as it is beautiful: Once someone reached a sufficient level of douchiness, the atoms that make up their body refuse to show reaction to any impulses from the outside world 'while they're doing their thing', scientifically speaking. Attacks cannot hurt them because in these moments they, by definition, don't even exist. It is a psychosomatic ability also found among fakirs and really fat cats.
In Pallet Town, there are two people around that the player can talk to. Where exactly do they live though, considering that there are only three houses, Red's Blue's and the Lab? In fact, why are those three buildings even called a town?
Icipall: One of them is Red's long lost dad, whom Red's mother threw out and the other, well, belongs to Prof. Oak. No, I'm not going to elaborate on that. As for why Pallet Town is called town, well...you know what, there is no reason why it is called a town. They should just start calling it village or something.
caboose_-1: It's a town because those people never leave. In all the games where the time of day is measured those people never leave the same area, and why don't they leave? The Pokéwalker. They're trying to get to the top by walking around the same place all day everyday and night!
BenNiGeLing: Before Pallet Town was swept by hordes of careful Charmanders, it was the largest settlement in the known universe, with almost 200 inhabitants, many of which actually lived indoors. Most of the town, people and Pokémon fell victim to the Embers. Had it not been for the sacrifice of Professor Oak's team, Pallet Town would have been erased from the MAP permanently. Some say the population would have been better off dead, as the homeless survivors were left heavily traumatized, which led to them walking around aimlessly, repeating the same utterance over and over again.
How evil IS the Villager?
Icipall: He's not evil at all. It's just that like all heroes, he simply has bad publicity.
caboose_-1: Pure darkness taints his soul. He stands up to the dark power that is Tom Nook with a smile on his face as he goes about doing whatever he wants in town. The fact that he is spreading his evil to Smash Bros is somewhat concerning but luckily the Wii Fit Trainer is coming to stop him. She is truly our only hope.
He smiles nervously, failing repeatedly to strike a match. It quickly becomes clear he doesn't usually smoke. He ultimately succeeds, but refrains from lighting the cigarette.
Rocking back and forth slowly, he slides a photo across the counter.
The match he by now had forgotten about has burnt down all the way to his fingers. The heat is blackening them. He doesn't notice.
Well, that's our show. Now if you excuse me, I have to start committing to a constant schedule. Good night and remember, we're always looking for expertise (or lack thereof).
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Huh, you're right. I didn't notice it until you brought it up. Nice.
Glad to hear it, I was actually worried I might have overdone it.
I love of the tiny little jokes within BenNiGeLing's Pallet Town response.
Isn't it great that all of our answers for Pallet Town sync up?