Welcome ladies and gentlemen. Please, take your seats. Welcome to the very first episode of Ask the Experts on g1 Features! Yes, for all my longtime fans, the day has finally come after 13 episodes. So, let’s not waste any time. Let’s get started with this episode, featuring answers courtesy of g1 darkhyrulelord. Let’s get started.

How is the Toss the Turtle turtle still alive?

Simple. The turtle is most likely some breed of Squirtle. If that's the case, then it can never die. It can only be knocked out.

How come a laser gun exists in Contra?

A laser gun exists in Contra because the aliens were attempting to build an instant-kill or instant-destroy gun out of processed energy. Needless to say, it didn't exactly work too well (plus it seemed that very few of the humans actually use vehicles and most of the humans, like Bill Rizer, die in one hit). The humans later decided that it hindered them instead of helped them when they picked it up so they designed a better model---such as the one used in Contra 4.

Wouldn't it be impossible to ride a scorpion due to their size?

There is only one breed of scorpion powerful enough to hold a 200 pound man, and that is the Predatorious spinifer (Predator scorpion) and it is distinct by its glowing green color. Their home planet was originally the one that the Predators lived on, and they got accidentally migrated to planet Earth. The reason that they are so powerful is the gravity on their home planet was much greater than it was on Earth. They also have specialized muscles to carry prey and food (they are social creatures, much like ants). Due to this, they can hold up to 50 times their own weight.

Who would put the pieces of E.T.'s communicator in pits?

E.T's communicator probably fell out of the ship or something and caused small craters around the area. If not, then my money is that the other E.T.s hid them there so that that one E.T. would get back home so easily. If I had to guess, they were bullies... which probably explains why the E.T. in the game/movie is so shy.

Why does the king put his life in the hands of a kid considered to be "kool"?

The kid is his own son, most likely. It would make sense, since the king is dumb enough to trust his life to him, and the kid can't even spell "cool" right.

Well, that’s our show. Now before you go, I should let you know that there will be no Ask the Experts next week due to the fact that I’ll be on vacation. So with that, good night, and remember, we’re always looking for expertise (or lack thereof).