WoOoOah! Welcome to Ask the Experts! A totally tubular show about questions and answers and junk! And this episode is so GNARLY!!! This is so totally awesome! Yeah! ... Rob Liefeld! ... Will Smith! ... Super Nintendo! ... Here's today's questions.

Why is it that the stars you collect in Super Mario 64 don't give you invincibility?

Well, first off let me begin by letting you in on a little known fact. The Star-Men are actually a sentient race of magical fairy-like beings. Through touching the more common ones seen in pre-Mario 64, they assist Mario by granting him a few seconds of nigh-invulnerability in addition to the ambiguous ability to kill enemies in one touch.

The ones in Mario 64, however, are of a different sub-species. They are slightly larger in mass, but lack the ability to move more than a short burst every hour. Rather than granting invincibility, they grant Mario teleportation allowing him to escape from the painting world instantaneously. This is how Mario is able to escape areas that could not be able to backtrack by foot.

Why don't the weapons do anything?

Since the Roman numeral for 10 is X, wouldn't that make the year that Mega Man takes place in 2101010?

Yes, but only because humanity flung themselves that many years into the future. When Light was developing Time Man and Flash Man, the entire world was accidentally flung several thousand years into the future due to time-related mishaps. Due to events such as sun expansion and black holes forming closer to the Earth occurring during this time skip, this is the same reason why Solar Man and Galaxy Man were able to be built.

How rad IS the Rad Racer?

Not that rad actually, depending on how you regard crazed villains. The Rad Racer is actually Turbo from Wreck-It Ralph. Chew on that for a while.

Done? Now spit it out. What I've told you is a lie. The Rad Racer is actually a pretty cool dude and would go on to father the line that would eventually birth everyone's favorite Captain Falcon.

Why would Santa even build a Maimtron 9000 in the first place?

The only Santa has for entertainment up at the North Pole is reception from a very select few Top Billboards Radio Stations. Thus, his only familiarity with any sort of entertainment taste consists of outdated songs of varying quality. These infectious songs would stay in his head for days while constructing the Maimtron 9000 to the point that he subconsciously programmed its hard-drive to speak almost exclusively in song lyrics.

Well, that was our totally excellent episode of Ask the Experts! Now, I'm going to listen to Smells Like Teen Spirit over and over and over again! Remember, we always have experts or some junk like that!

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The Self Proclaimed Swordmaster

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