DEATH BATTLE has somehow found a fight where the size of each fighter’s breasts will actually have an effect on the outcome...Make of that what you will. Also, if anyone wishes to see the thoughts of several other people take a look at ComicKing’s blog, and JackRed’s video on the fight.
Welcome one and all to yet another prediction blog. We’ve got some big, enormous, humongous...Fights in the works, and can’t wait to get to them. But before we do we’ll be looking at one of the most offbeat, but still entertaining, matches we’ve seen from DEATH BATTLE in a while. This will be an awkward match to talk about...We’re all going to feel like perverts after analyzing what would happen if Soul Calibur’s White-haired, Whip-wielding, Warrior, and Killer Instinct’s Voluptuous, Versatile, Vixen went toe-to-toe. However, that doesn’t mean we won’t do exactly that!
Get ready because, IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
Weight: 128 lbs
Age: 49 (Body = 32)
Isabella ‘Ivy’ Valentine was found abandoned as a child by two loving parents including a wealthy, but ultimately insane father, obsessed with learning the secret to eternal youth. By the time Ivy’s father had died, he was still a far cry from attaining immortality, and her mother met her end shortly after. This was just the beginning for Ivy however. A will given to her after her parents’ deaths revealed her status as an adopted child, and the identity of the object her father had so obsessively pursued all these years. The mystical blade, Soul Edge.
Angered that the weapon had driven her father to madness, Ivy dedicated the rest of her life to alchemy, successfully turned her sword into a living entity, and began pursuing the destruction of Soul Edge. Later she learned that her blade was not only feeding Soul Edge more power, but that she herself was the biological descendant of Cervantes, who once wielded and was driven mad by the blade’s power too, connecting her to Soul Edge by blood, and allowing her to remain ageless...Apparently immortality begins at 20 in the Soul Calibur universe because it took her awhile for this agelessness to kick in. Despite this, she continued to pursue the blade’s destruction, even if it would guarantee her own end as well.
When she realized she would not be able to destroy Soul Edge due to her biological connection, she made an artificial body that could, only to be defeated by her father before she could complete it. Ultimately she made use of this artificial body before her father could completely absorb her soul, and would later confront and defeat her father to regain the lost part of her soul, and her former ageless body.
Of course, few people actually care about the backstory, and instead see Ivy as, “That white-haired lady with the giant boobs”, but she is a powerful threat in the Soul Calibur series. She has fought against Mitsurugi, her own father, and a multitude of other foes, always becoming more knowledgeable in the art of alchemy, and swordplay.
Weight: 125 lbs
Age: 24 (as of Killer Instinct 2)
Orphaned at a young age, Black Orchid’s past has always been full of mystery, to the point that she didn’t know who her lost brother was for the longest time (Spoiler: It’s Jago). In her later life she joined up with an elite, yet unnamed, secret organization built with the intent of taking down the corrupt mega-corporation, Ultratech. To do this she had to go straight to the heart of matters and enter a Killer Instinct tournament.
Her mission was a great success, and Orchid successfully defeated a variety of foes including Eyedol, the interdimensional, two-headed, monstrosity Ultratech had sought to bring into their world. The monster’s defeat however distorted time...Somehow, and brought all the surviving combatants from the first Killer Instinct 2000 years into the past, kicking off the events of Killer Instinct 2. With the new Killer Instinct still unreleased what happens beyond the events of Killer Instinct 2 is out in the open, but there are a few different conclusions B. Orchid’s tale can reach, depending on who she spares and who she kills. In the best endings she learns the secret of Jago being her brother, and either forms a fighting team with him, or goes on to live a normal life, having finally completed her task.
Knowing she has taken on raging, superhuman werewolves, her own ninja brother, and even an interdimensional warlord, B. Orchid is a tough opponent to take on, implementing deadly martial arts, weapons, and...A finishing move that will go down in fighting game history as one of the most infamous of finishing moves.
Ivy’s main weapon is Valentine, a magical sword that literally has a mind of its own. It is effective for both melee, mid-ranged, and long-ranged attacks. The multi-linked sword can be swung in a whip-like pattern, burrow into the ground, rise up to attack foes, entangle people, and even separate into different bladed segments to fly towards opponents as shown in the opening to Soul Calibur 2. It likely won’t be of importance in this particular fight, but the weapon was given life by the hand of Nightmare, and can be assumed to be an item of evil energies.
There seems to be a difference in the weapons Orchid uses in Killer Instinct & Killer Instinct 2. The original Killer Instinct shows she uses some sort of dual short-swords that emit lasers, while in Killer Instinct 2 she clearly wields tonfas. We don’t think it will matter much as both weapons appear to be able to generate the same energy despite the tonfas looking like blunt edged weapons, but it’s worth bringing up. We’re almost certain both weapons will be included. If we had to choose between the two, since the first Killer Instinct is the more loved game of the two, and because the laser edged short swords are presumably more lethal, they will likely be the dominant weapon.
As for the energy the weapons emit, there are very few feats in the Killer Instinct series due to its focus on gameplay over story, and even less information when it comes to the specs of the weapons themselves. Despite their futuristic look (the short swords at least) there isn’t much to go on as far as cutting power is concerned. However they, or at least Orchid, can easily generate enough power to shoot fireballs and fry an opponent’s body whole.
...Yeeeaah, there isn’t much to talk about here. Ivy’s most recent outfit in Soul Calibur V, designed by Mari Shimazaki, is a gold colored, full-body, fur-coat-like...Thing that offers little in terms of protection. Her original outfit, while ironically more revealing, is a little bit better in terms of defense. It has a metallic gauntlet, and random bits of metal thrown in that miiight offer a bit more protection than Orchid’s outfit. Despite this, the general rule is both characters are probably going to rely on natural durability for this fight.
To the surprise of nobody this section, much like orchid’s suit, is going to be 1 size too small. Orchid isn’t exactly armored up to the fullest. She wears an all green, one-piece, spandex, most likely made out of leather. The only thing we could see possibly giving her any defense is the gold colored headband on her head.
It is clear that Ivy is superhuman in her abilities to some degree. Like Killer Instinct, Soul Calibur has few definitive feats, but Ivy regularly keeps up with characters who can move faster than the eye can see, and successfully kicked away a bullet, fired by her father, Cervantes. Her style revolves around switching the state of her weapon between that of a sword and that of a whip for both long/mid-ranged and close ranged attacks. She is vulnerable while switching between these stances, but only for brief moments. And while it is rarely shown when fighting, Ivy is very knowledgeable in the art of magic and alchemy, to the point that she forms a magical prison barrier around her opponent in one of her finishers.
With her sword Valentine she implements a massive variety of moves, most of which seem to be themed around her being a dominatrix (kinky). There are two powerful grapples she has. When performing Calamity Symphony she smashes her opponent to the ground, only to raise them up into the air, repeatedly strike them with her multi-linked sword, and inevitably bring them down to the ground. During Summon Suffering, Ivy grabs her opponent from behind, and separates her sword so each piece will fly into her enemy.
Arch Cage sends her opponent into the air, with an additional strike. Ivy clearly isn’t afraid to play dirty either, and will gladly stomp on a downed opponent with the...Queen’s Pleasure... Serpent’s Venom unleashes a pyrokinetic attack where Ivy spins around with her sword, and whips it at the target. There’s also a variety of other simultaneous move presses, like Suppressed Exile, and Released Souls, all of which are fire-based (it’s a trend in Soul Calibur). With the ability to grapple opponents, attack from beneath the ground, fight closely in, at a mid-range, and the ability to separate her blade for longer ranged attacks, Ivy has a large share of attack options.
And despite having stopped aging physically for a while now, her boobs keep on getting bigger and bigger somehow...
In case you were wondering...
The moves in Soul Calibur tend to blend together a bit more than your typical fighting game, making it difficult to discern which moves would and would not count as ‘signature moves’, but we’ve done our best to mention list any and all moves that seem notable, and as with all fighting game characters in DEATH BATTLEs, looked through every possible move the fighters in question have used throughout their series.
Orchid uses a variety of fighting moves to take on opponents with. The type of fighting style she uses is never specified, but it has a strong emphasis on kicks. Since she was orphaned at a young age, it can be assumed she has been training all her life.
There’s the special spin kick called, Flik Flak where Orchid flips upside down and rapidly spins to strike her foes, similar to Chun-Li’s Spinning Bird Kick, only she does a handstand through it all instead of simply defying gravity like Chun does. That isn’t to say she can’t shatter just as many laws of physics though. Orchid can somehow spin her legs around so fast they helicopter both her and her opponent up into the air.
With her two short swords Orchid will spin in an upward pattern, doing a move called Spinning Sword, making an effective technique for juggling. Amplified versions of these moves exist. Along with the aforementioned fireball and lightning shooting, Orchid is also clearly skilled to some degree in magic and transmutation as shown in a few of her moves. During one of them she briefly transforms herself into a cheetah-like creature that emits fire, and lunges towards her opponent. And like all Killer Instinct characters, Orchid can perform some ridiculously long combos, many that go on, and on, and on, and on, and...You get the idea.
The two most recent entrants of Soul Calibur have introduced Super-moves that come in the form of Critical Edges/Finishes, and Ivy has 2 of them. The Acausal Paradox is her main one. When performing it she binds her opponent's legs and arms with magical rings, separates her sword into several parts that stab her opponent to push them into the air. While they levitate them the other pieces cut through them, eventually bringing them down to the ground. In the second one, Grand Alchemy, Ivy seals her enemy in a magical barrier, and repeatedly fires parts of her sword at them, ending with their defeat.
Aside from Ultra Combos, Killer Instinct is primarily known for fatality-esque finishers called, No Mercies. Orchid has a few of these. One that presumably replaced the Boob Finisher in Killer Instinct 2 because the developers couldn’t think of multiple ways a female opponent would react to the move, where she fries her opponent’s entire body with a jolt of electricity. In another she transforms her opponent into a frog, and either taunts their now helpless form or brutally stomps on them. Orchid also had a special Super Move in Killer Instinct 2 that could extend combos.
Then there is the most infamous one of them all. It has no name, but most probably recognize it as the Boob Finisher where Orchid unzips her uniform and flashes her breasts at the opponent. On all other combatants the story goes that the move is supposed to cause a heart attack, but if Orchid is facing herself she’ll just stomp on the ground, and (presumably) die of spite.
-While neither character is the most conservatively clothed, if Ivy’s original costume is being used it will provide her with more defense than Orchid’s.
-With the ability to separate her sword into different components, and make it shoot out of the ground, Ivy can target Orchid from many more angles, and more or less turn the battle into a 2 on 1 fight.
-Valentine’s whip-like structure can restrain Orchid.
-More effective Super Moves/Critical Edges.
-Further reaching melee weapon, and better distance game.
-Is faster, at least in reaction speed thanks to the feat where she kicked away a bullet.
-Her breasts are either just as, or bigger than Orchid’s (yes, this will actually have an effect on the fight’s outcome).
-Poorer non-weapon-based attacks (I.E leg strikes), and arguably poorer close quarters combat.
-Is vulnerable while switching the state of her sword.
-More skilled in martial arts, and leg strikes.
-Has some projectiles to deal with Ivy’s range game.
-The ability to magically transform into a flaming cheetah, and other more outlandish attacks could catch Ivy off guard.
-It is very unlikely her ‘No Mercy’ boob finisher will do any harm to Ivy.
-Slower, at least in reaction speed.
-Ivy’s knowledge of magic, and unchanging body’s connection to Soul Edge could allow her to resist Orchid’s transmutation No Mercy.
-Fewer means of targeting Ivy.
This is going to be the most sexist DEATH BATTLE ever. Considering Orchid throws a temper tantrum when she sees a pair as good as hers, she will throw a fit when she sees Ivy’s.
Ignoring that, Ivy has the more versatile offense of the two. While not as combo heavy as her opponent, Ivy is an expert hand to hand fighter. And her sword provides a lot more options than either of Orchid’s weapons. The fact that Orchid needs to get close to be an effective fighter means she has an uphill battle on her shoulders. Unless Orchid can get past all of Ivy’s defenses, I see this being a victory for the Soul Edge series (even though they call it Soul Calibur now).
I don’t think that this battle is quite as one sided as it seems to be, but I’m placing my bets still on Ivy. I say this because, in fighting games, while there may be a character with overall better moves than another one--all it takes is one super cheap combo to taste victory. All of the skills and moves in the world won’t stop a 100+ hit ultra combo on Orchid’s side if it lands.
However, from what I have seen in my limited experience in the Killer Instinct series, even though Orchid may have that rather nasty combo thing with her, it doesn’t do THAT much damage. I remember, at SGC, where the players pulled off massive combos yet it only took like a quarter or so health away, as flashy as they were. So, what I’m basically saying is that Orchid’s only true main way to defeat Ivy here is if she could constantly find a way to exploit these combos. Yet, seeing Ivy’s versatile moveset in both close and long ranged combat AND with the fact that she’s fast enough to deflect a bullet….I don’t see Orchid getting more than one ultra combo in...and it won’t be enough.
Ivy also appears to be more skilled in magic, and I don’t think Orchid’s barrier will stop them, seeing how fast she is. Ivy’s main weapon also seems overall better since it can fight well in close and long ranged combat. Lastly, I don’t think that Orchid’s...um...breast revealing will defeat Ivy for a number of obvious reasons (she’s a dominatrix, for one…) plus the fact that it has to be used as a move when the opponent is low on HP, I would assume.
So, I guess I somewhat disproved myself. This fight is going to be a little one-sided, but I’m sure that it will entertaining to watch for the flashy moves (edit: did I just say that?). My vote is on Ivy.
I see this match as a battle between how well Orchid can get in on Ivy, and how well Ivy can keep herself distanced from Orchid’s close-range attacks. Both fighters are pretty deadly, but in terms of pure versatility I think Ivy has Orchid beat. Consider the fact that Ivy can alter the reach of her weapon however she pleases. Even up close Ivy’s cause isn’t completely lost thanks to her skill with the broadsword she’ll have waiting for Orchid, while at mid-range she’ll have a whip, and from a distance she’ll have a multitude of separated blades homing in on Orchid every single moment.
Orchid has a fairly good projectile, but it won’t be very effective compared to multiple homing attacks, and I don’t believe she has the maneuverability or defense to deal with all the angles Ivy can attack her from. The over-the-top, pseudo-futuristic age that Orchid lives in may make it seem like she has gone up against tougher foes, but I don’t think Soul Calibur fighters like Lizardman or Inferno are a far cry away from opponents like Riptor, or Cinder. Then there’s the simple fact that while Orchid could give her a run for her money up close, Ivy may never give her the chance thanks to her superior range, and speed. It will lead to many scenarios in which Ivy can simply restrain Orchid with Valentine.
Though the question remains, how would Orchid's ‘finisher’ (you know the one) fit into this? I'm pretty sure Ivy wouldn’t be affected by it at all. In Killer Instinct if Orchid is subjected to her own No Mercy she simply spitefully stomps on the ground and dies from jealousy (presumably). Ivy isn't one to get jealous, and, she'll find little reason to be given that...The simplest of glances shows that her chest is just as, possibly bigger, than Orchid’s...Wow, I can't believe I'm actually pondering questions like this. Needless to say, while it may be a little silly to even take the move into consideration, I don’t think it will be helping Orchid in this fight. It gets worse when you consider the supernatural composition Ivy has thanks to her lineage, and her experience in the magical arts. It makes it very unlikely Orchid’s frog transformation will affect Ivy, even assuming Orchid gains the opportunity to perform it, leaving her electricity finisher, and I guess her super move (even if it's an extended version of one of her specials), as the only effective Super Moves.
It’s fair to say Ivy’s super-moves are more practical than the largely comedic ones Orchid has. This leaves Orchid with fewer options, poorer range, and a lot of blind spots. Because of all of this, I have to side with Ivy as the winner in the battle of the inappropriately dressed fighting game femme fatales.
It makes me quite sad to hear about how many people don’t know who one or both of these characters are. If you have never played a game and either of their series I suggest looking up the Soul Calibur and Killer Instinct games, they are a ton of fun and you won’t regret it.
With that out of the way what do I think about this fight? While the advantages and disadvantages might make it seem like this is obvious, I feel like its necessary to point out that this fight is closer than you would think it is. Orchid might not have many advantages but what she IS good at she makes very good use of. If Orchid can get in close and start some combos on Ivy you can bet Ivy will start seeing stars and if Ivy was solely a short range fighter I think Orchid would win this. But Ivy is vastly more versatile then Orchid is, she can fight up close, at mid range and at very far away.
Both game series that these characters come from focus on game play above all else so we have no true “Feats” to compare between the two of them, so were forced to look at the two of them strictly from a game play situation and what little biographical information we have on the two of them.
From what we know of Ivy, she has been alive for 49 years, but her body stopped ageing at 32 which means she has at least 15 more years of experience as Orchid while at the same time she does not suffer from the downside of ageing, so Ivy has a fully developed body with experience past its time. Ivy’s weapon has multiple forms all of which being things that Orchid has less experience going up against. The majority of Orchids opponents are straight up brawlers relying on tooth, claw, and fist; very few actually carry a weapon, and those who do have nothing that can be compared to Ivy’s whip.
It could be argued that due to being a secret agent Orchid might have better professional combat training, but I think that’s ultimately cancelled out by being 25 years younger than Ivy, her training and Ivy’s experience clearly balance out but Ivy’s definitely gives her the edge.
So basically, Ivy is more versatile and experienced then Orchid is and Orchids lack of experience with Ivy’s weapon will give her huge problems, if Orchid could get in close she could easily overpower Ivy but ultimately Ivy has fought similar opponents to Orchid and will most likely find a way around Orchids offence and give her a brutal counter attack.
I think the good miss, Isabella Valentine will be the victor of this fight!
Admittedly It’s hard to find much that hasn’t already been said by the others. Both fighters have a relatively small list of abilities and I just agree that Ivy is probably going to win. Her weapon is more useful than orchids and due to having life breathed into it by Nightmare of all people it’s probably more powerful. Ivy tanks strikes from bladed weapons and fire based attacks so those parts of orchids arsenal while being able to damage Ivy won’t help as much and orchids electricity probably won’t help much either.
Not to Mention Orchids Boob Finisher is pretty much useless since Ivy has a bigger bust and she’s a dominatrix so If Orchid does flash her Ivy will probably just see it as an invitation to spank orchid or something like that...What? You think that is going too far? If you think that a spanking analogy is too perverted then Boomstick is going to melt your brain when this episode comes out.
Having read my last verdict, you’re probably expecting me to give some long-winded essay length speech that details every single point of my argument, but for this fight, all I need is one sentence.
Ivy simply has the better weapon and the bigger jugs.
That’s it. I could spend a lot of time elaborating on Orchid’s close range speciality being trumped by Ivy’s superior long-range versatility, but I think I my colleagues have sufficiently covered that topic pretty damn well.
Besides, we all know the reason why this fight was made, and even though DEATH BATTLE will most certainly stay true to its unbiased formula, this match really isn't about who's the deadlier character. Naw, its all about who has the bigger set of BEWBS!
Ahem excuse me, bit of a juvenile moment there... Anyways, considering that Orchid’s entire game-plan revolves around having a bigger set of highlights than everyone else, how exactly is that going to work when she’s forced to go head to head with a gal that not only has a superior rack, but also has a more effective weapon?
I’m gonna run out of synonyms for breasts here soon and I don’t want to sound like a misogynist douchebag anymore. That said, I’ll just close by saying that even with sexist measurements of a woman’s character taken completely off the table, Ivy is simply the superior fighter. Nuff said.
It’s pretty clear from the data we collected that Ivy is the character that has the most amount of advantages in this fight. Not only is her signature weapon INFINITELY more versatile than anything that orchid is using (being able to switch between a whip, sword and shoot projectiles), but it has a much longer reach and enhanced strength due to the power of the soul edge. Additionally Ivy herself is older, physically still in her prime, has a boatload more fighting experience,better reaction times and potentially better defensive armor(although I doubt she will be wearing it in this battle).
Also while I’m sure that Boomstick will have orchid use her infamous flashing no mercy attack, it’s already been widely established by the team that it shouldn’t have any effect on Ivy since her....uh assets are larger than orchids are.
Overall Ivy has this fight in the bag.
Now that we've all awkwardly, and not so awkwardly stated our piece on the fight, it's time to wrap this blog up. Thanks to all who read it, and don't worry. We'll be back soon.
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