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Nostalgic Nitpicker Intro (#0)

9/28/11 8:04pm

I am the Nostalgic Nitpicker.  I'm going to be writing articles about video games. In them, I will apply the techniques of nostalgia and nitpicking. I'm going to go through the games of my childhood and discuss various parts of them, e.g. gameplay. Pretty standard stuff, right?

 

Well... no. I'm different. Why? Because I'm 14 years old. The games of my childhood aren't necessarily the games of yours. Heck, some would say I'm still in my childhood. But I'm a big boy now, and I can use big boy words to describe games like they're ancient even though they came out six years ago. For people around my age, it'll probably be nice to have someone understand and write about their childhood games like childhood games. For those who are older, at least it will pose a fresh perspective, right? Now hold on, let's just get one thing straight, I'm going to be typin' about games from my childhood; CoD got big close enough to those times, but was I playing CoD at age eight? No. No, I wasn't. I was playing and Kirby and the Amazing Mirror and Sonic Advance. Games that would make some sense for an eight year old, maybe?

 

I've been wanting to rant about my childhood games in a place and time that would make sense, and Screwattack, which allows people to type stuff, allowed me to do so. I'm going to be making articles at completely random intervals about video that have nostalgic value to me whether people read them or not. I'm making these purely for my own enjoyment. However, it would be nice if I became the most popular user on the site. Just putting that out there.

 

On the other hand,  as a reader, my articles are also going to involve you. I'm probably going to run into something that piques my curiosity and ask people to comment on it or something. But that's not the main job for you. You have a quest to complete. I'm the kind of person who makes all sorts of crazy references and quotes, and I want to know how many people can even keep up. I mean, I'm freaking all over the place. I haven't met a single person in my life who can understand three fourths of the things I say. As far as I've seen, for someone to understand all the random references I make it would take a stalker or futuristic knowledge cloner (not that all the references are impossible, they're just so eclectic getting all of them is impossible).

 

So, in each of my articles there's going to be a little scavenger hunt for all my quotes and references and their origins (the origins being the important part). It's going to be poorly designed, explained, judged, and overall poorly executed. What counts as a reference? Does this include memes? Except that one about including memes, which was a little obvious, (yes, memes count) I encourage all the questions you readers can manage, but, for now, here are the basic rules:

1) Specificity is important. If I were to have something like "Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?" Saying that's from DBZ will get some credit, but not full. To get full, you only have to know as much as I do. You know, what was going on in that part of the episode, who said it, stuff like that. Except you only have to know as much as I do, so you may not need as much specificity. This is one of the flaws in the design.

2) I will put the total number of references in the article at the beginning. Otherwise, there would be havoc.

3) If I make a joke about a reference or quote, it counts. That will happen more often, like "Vegeta, what does the Nitpicker say about this game's nostalgia level?"

4) If I make a reference, but make it incorrectly, correcting me and giving the normal specifics counts for double. This does not mean my joke wasn't funny or somehting, this means something like "Vegeta, what does the scanner say about his power level?"

5) Give me the answers in the form of private message. It's the best way. After a fair amount are submitted, I'll set a time limit in the comments, probably like two weeks, and then announce the winner and all the answers.

6) If I make a reference and don't even realize it, and you submit it, it counts for triple. However, there's a big catch: I have to know it. That was the point in the first place, as I mentioned before.

7) Ask questions. This is a rule. Don't worry about it coming off as trolling. That's two rules in one number. Another flaw in the design.

 

Back to the article, it's going to have a few different sections, but they're pretty obvious: Nostalgia, Nitpicking, Rant, and Go Pro (EDIT: and Glitches, sorry, forgot for a moment). Do I really have to explain those? Speaking of the construction of the article, if you have comments on these articles in general, not just a specific one, put them here. If the comments are negative, that's perfectly fine, as long as you give constructive criticism. Instead of "The Nostalgia section is stupid," type something more like "The Nostalgia section is a little messy, try to make it a little more concise." And if I make an error of any kind, correct me. Otherwise, type whatever you like. The first article should be out soon, so get ready for some Nostalgic Nitpicking.

 

And THAT was Hard News. (not a reference; this is my own clever way to end the articles)

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