NVGR - Sexuality
After seeing two of my favorite shows this week, my own thoughts on my sexuality are clouded. This blog takes a quick look at that.
Well, this has been an interesting week for television. I’ve seen one show that made me question my sexuality and another that strengthened my hatred for “Glee.” Intriguing…
This past Tuesday’s episode of “New Girl” focused on main character Jess’ struggle with her sexuality. She is falling for a new guy and is extremely worried that her previous sexual history will not be adequate enough for him.
On Thursday, “Community” did their yearly Christmas spoof and decided to bag on “Glee.” It was a hilarious take on the stupidity of that show and offered some extremely humorous songs and one incredibly sexy dance.
Now, watching “New Girl,” the first thought that always comes to my mind is; how can anyone find Zooey Deschanel unattractive? She is a goddess and a delight to watch. The fact that this show is trying so hard to make her goofy just rubs me the wrong way.
Still, even with that, “New Girl” has been pretty decent. The side characters aren’t the greatest, but Zooey often portrays her character with believability and tackles themes that most women of her age group suffer with.
Case-in point, this past weeks episode. I don’t buy that Zooey can’t find a date for six years, but there are plenty of people (both male and female) who have trouble finding someone else. When she brings that agitation forward and then proceeds to delve into the male mind a bit, it’s fairly entertaining to watch.
I never thought I’d see a filmed piece of media where Zooey is watching porn online. That’s just mind boggling. What makes it better is that, when asked by one of her room mates, she laments on how she lost five hours of her life.
She mentions that the only thing she ever learned about sex was from her ex-boyfriend and, comically, the Clinton impeachment trial. Well, other than actual experience, I can relate to that. I know nothing of sex and my fears are becoming more of a reality as I grow older.
She wants to please her new boyfriend and I’d love to please anyone whom I loved. It’s hard to really place into words what ignorance feels like, but this episode definitely nails it pretty damn well.
Then there’s “Community.” I actually watched “Glee” for a full two years before I gave up. Every damn song became too poppy and the plotlines were so outrageously insulting that I just couldn’t continue.
“Community” tackles that idea by, first, killing off the previous Glee team. The episode constantly references this event and the teacher usually has an upbeat smile on his face while recounting it, all like Fox’s moronic show.
What happens next is that the teacher gets one of the cast members to sucker his friends into performing the Christmas pageant by working to their weaknesses. At one point, Alison Brie says to Chevy Chase, “They’re just trying to pander to your demographics well documented historical vanity.” Yeah, pandering is putting it nicely.
Still, as mean spirited as the show gets, this episode certainly hits all the correct criticisms about “Glee.” The show is lousy, too serious and often a shuffle of ridiculous plotlines involving things that we’ve never seen before.
Then Alison Brie dons a sexy Santa outfit and dances like a burlesque woker. In the same week that I questioned whether I could ever be sexy, I was suddenly thinking about how I wanted sex more.
Pandering at its best, right? “Community” has tackled the idea of its female co-stars being sex icons, but never overtly gone for it. This episode throws Brie into the lion’s den and she comes out victorious.
So what am I left with here? Doubts about how any real application of sex in my life will be meaningful and relief that I still find things sexy…Confusing.
Regardless, I’m happy to see that television in the modern era hasn’t all become like “Glee.” I can still watch hilarious shows and get deep meaning from them. As long as everyone doesn’t bust into stupid renditions of song, I think I’ll be safe.
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There's an expression that, as a fellow g1 that cares about you and everyone else on the site (except the trolls, of course), I want you to say to yourself every time you doubt yourself or others:
"Never say 'never.'"
You've got no idea how well I can relate to you, dude, and up until recently I felt the same way you do. I was insecure, depressed, lonely, and bitter, and I only had two friends (both of which are out of town for a long time), and I've never been very outgoing. However, I started trying to take the first step when it came to making friends -- I talked to people, despite how awkward (or even scary) it felt, and in less than two months it's paid off, and I'm happier than I've ever been in my life!
KingSigy, I can't pretend to know your life, but it sounds to me life you're pretty insecure, too. Trust me when I say that your anxieties are exaggerating your perceptions of what people think of you. If you doubt this, look at it this way: if somebody acts like they're not interested in you, maybe they're just like you and aren't very outgoing either.
Maybe you're worried that conversation will be awkward, so if that's the case then start hanging out at places where you feel comfortable. As a gamer, maybe a game store or arcade would help you with a starting ground for conversation. If you see someone pick up a game or wearing a game-related/music-related shirt, you've just found your first topic of conversation. "Nice shirt" may be all that's said, but it's as good a start for gaining confidence as any, and practice makes perfect.
Another thing might be to start working out. Whether you're in good shape, bad shape, or anything in between, a little bit of exercise can do WONDERS for your self esteem! Lift some weights while you wait in a game lobby, do a couple dozen sit-ups and push-ups before bed, and do some running in place to get your heart going every now and then -- you may not even see results, but after a few weeks you'll definitely feel them, and even if it doesn't help your cause immediately it will benefit you in the long term.
Anywho, I don't want to be too assuming so I shouldn't go on much longer. If you'd like to talk sometime though, shoot me a PM and I'll be more than happy to chat you up a bit. Take care, man. :-)
Don't worry about it, one of my friends claims that he "can't get drunk", that alcohol has literally no effect on him so I don't think you're being difficult.
I guess step one for you should be to get some friends who don't mind going out once in awhile. After that, just focus on moving yourself out of your comfort zone of not initiating conversation with anyone. I still struggle with it but it only takes one time to really give you that ego boost.
While I'll try some of the things you mentioned, alcohol does absolutely nothing for me. I'm a bit more free-flowing in my movements, but I still have about the same level of courage. It also takes around 10 beers or 6 mixed drinks before I start to feel anything and I don't like spending upwards of $45 to get drunk.
Still, thank you for at least being concerned. I'm not the easiest person to get through to and I don't want you to think I'm just complaining without listening.
Community is pretty damn awesome.
I've never played Persona 4. I've heard many good things.
Well since im 14 i havent had intercourse with someone. Mayby you should try to change your clothing, hair or something like that. HOWERVER you should never change who you are as a person. Hope it helps you out ;D
Well a buddy of mine has no problem doing that ever and he'll find even the most mundane thing to talk about to get a person talking and most of the time it works, basically he doesn't care if someone blows him off. Even if it's just someone who happens to be at the same place, same time as you, you have options depending on the situation. Hell, I've even approached chicks at the gym by commenting on a workout they're doing.
I hate to say it but...alcohol helps. Liquid courage in a can/bottle/keg works wonders for getting you to just talk to someone if you lack the ability to approach others.
I read this and I can't help thinking of Kanji from Persona 4.
NVGR- Not Video Game Related, yeah I just got that. And Community is freaking hilarious. That is all.
I don't have anyone to turn to for help, though. That's my problem. I have a hard enough time making friends, let alone finding women. It's really bad.
Also, I believe I'm getting too old for me to be worrying about my "first-time." At some point, it's never going to happen and I'm going to give up. 23 is not the age where I should be wondering when I'll finally kiss a girl, but when I should be planning about how I want to pursue a marriage.
No one seems to understand that I have no problem being myself either. I don't freeze up when people speak to me and I'm not afraid to voice my opinion to someone whom I've just met, but I just suffer from a lack of ability to actively seek out others.
Hahaha. Like I said; Zooey Deschanel is a goddess. It's BS that the show makes her out to be a total goofball loser.
YES! COMMUNITY FTW!!!! ITS SO AWESOMEEEEE!!!!!!
Don't worry, I thought the same way. A lot of the time you meet someone through a friend or a friend of a friend. Just remember that you have to be yourself, relax, and don't be ashamed to ask someone for help (I definitely appreciated advice from one of my friends when I had the 'deer-in-the-headlights' problem). Trust me, even today I'm a bit of a shut-in but I still managed to find someone who liked me for who I was.
One last thing though, be patient. Here's the mentality on it: before your first time you think it's a big deal and rage over it; after the fact it's like, "well I'm glad I got that out of the way and now I know I have the ability to find someone". It really loses its value, truth be told.
Btw, when I say 'shut-in' I mean you never go out and make the effort, even actively avoid it (I've met a girl like that, no one understands it).
gotta be honest... the New Girl chick.... pretty hot.
See, I'm almost to the point of total shut-in. Even when I do go out, I have no idea how to approach people. I can't really make female friends, either, as I often fall for them too quickly and ruin potential friendships.
So, I appreciate you reassuring me that everything will be fine, but I'm not so sure it will.
I've snuggled with someone, but that's as far as I've gotten. I don't know what I did wrong in my life, but women just aren't attracted to me. I don't ever have to worry about being safe because the situation is more than likely never going to come up.
I don't like Glee for a lot of the reasons you just listed and it seems like a soap opera with pop songs. As for sex, don't worry about it. Speaking from experience, when the time comes (and it will unless you're a total shut-in) then not much you've seen or heard will matter, except for being safe, that you have to remember always.
Never wathed Glee but that clip was preety stupid. Btw the whole intercourse thing im mayby a stupid teenager but that will happen to all of us one day. Just relax and you might found someone who wants to "snuggle snuggle" with you. Remeber to be safe though ;D