At the Screwvies: Episode 4

Posted on April 26, 2014 - 5:30pm by g1 Features

TLDR;

Your At the Screwvies crew (Flashpenny doesn't have a avatar, cause he's a silly goose)

Hello, generous g1s, and welcome to a new episode of the Amazing At the Screwvies. See what I did there? Because Spider-man? Hehe, sorry about that. Joining me once again are Stick-man and Flashpenny-man.

The Stickman: That pun was AMAZING....LY BAD. Spectacular. Huehue...webs. Oh hello by the way.

Flashpenny: I'm Flash AHH-AAAAAAAAHHHH penny! (This will have relevance later on, I promise.)

MadHero15: Indeed, sorry for that punnage, enjoy some 60's Spider-Man goodness instead.

Flashpenny: Stickman, Stickman, does whatever a lizard gimp can...

The Stickman: Hey guys...are we talking about Spider-Man at some point in this weeks episode? Just a hunch. And then halfway through we have to randomly switch to talking about X-Men.

MadHero15: In case you're wondering why we're so Spider-Man heavy today, it’s because we're REVIEWING AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2! Well, just Stickman, because he saw it, and has some thoughts to share about it.

The Stickman: THE STICKMAN...REVIEWS? THAT'S CATCHY.

Flashpenny: Also, it doesn't come out until this coming week in the center of the universe that is America so I couldn't have seen it anyway.

MadHero15: It just came out today here at time of writing (April 24th). In any case, before we do that, we'll start off with some news!

THIRD HOBBIT MOVIE TO BE RENAMED TO BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES!

One of my most anticipated films of the year, including Godzilla and Guardians of the Galaxy, is the all new and final Hobbit movie coming this December, because goddamn I love me some Middle-Earth. In any case, the last film, originally called "There and Back Again," after the book Bilbo writes about his adventures, is now going to be called "The Battle of the Five Armies" referring to a big clash in the book between the Goblins and Wargs, humans, elves, dwarves, etc. I have no opinion on the name change honestly, but I had gotten kinda used to "There and Back Again."

Flashpenny: The first thing I thought of when I saw this was the War of Five Kings…… I watch Game of Thrones too much.

The Stickman: Battle of the Five Guys.

Flashpenny: Anyway, I personally don't see this as particularly big news. Although I will admit that I also preferred "There And Back Again" as a title.

The Stickman: I'm not a fan of the name change, I quite liked what it was called before. But Peter Jackson stated that they changed it due to the extension of the original two films into a trilogy, and that title just not making sense anymore...so...I guess that's okay.

Flashpenny: Well, I think it kind of misplaces the point of the story; after all, Return of the King wasn't called the "Battle of Pelennor Fields"

The Stickman: Return of the King was the name of the book though.

Flashpenny: Fair enough.

MadHero15: I think the name change is ok. I mean, the Battle is going to take center stage in this film, so it makes sense to name it after that. Then again, then you could also argue that Two Towers should've been Battle of Helm's Deep. I think "There and Back Again" is going to be what the inevitable boxset is going to be called, which makes a lot of sense

Flashpenny: I still don't think it's really interesting news. Although the movie is going to be awesome. To be fair, most of the extra time in the movies is spent setting up the inevitable Battle of Five Armies.

The Stickman: The thought of another Middle Earth battle from Peter Jackson is extremely appetizing though, so I'm remaining stoked to see the final part of this trilogy, pointless as it may be, it's still been a wild ride.

Flashpenny: In the book, that scene literally pops right the Hell out of nowhere so I don't blame Peter Jackson for trying to add extra exposition in prior films.

MadHero15: ALSO, MORE SMAUG!

The Stickman: I AM VENGEANCE, I AM THE NIGHT! I AM SMAAAAAAAAAAAUG.

Flashpenny: I AM KING UNDER THE MOUNTAIN!

MadHero15: I. AM. FIRE!

MadHero15: I. AM. DEATH!

The Stickman: I am...Sensing it's time to move on!

MadHero15: LETS!

TARANTINO MAKING HATEFUL EIGHT AFTER ALL AFTER DISMISSED GAWKER LAWSUIT

Speaking of loudmouthed, overly dramatic reptilians, here's some news about Quentin Tarantino! Earlier in the year, controversy arose over the leaking of the script for his next film, 'The Hateful Eight', with him making the bold decision to both cancel that film, and sue Gawker (Owners of various trashy news websites) for posting it. Fast forward a few months, and at a surprise public reading of said script, Mr Tino has announced that he is now instead planning to rewrite the script, and still make the film. What do we think guys, good news?

Flashpenny: I think that this whole story makes Quentin Tarantino seem like an immature child throwing a temper tantrum that things haven't gone his way.

MadHero15: I love me some Tarantino films, but man, the guy himself can be fucking obnoxious.

Flashpenny: Most of his movies are very good though so, in the end, yes, this is good news.

The Stickman: Django Unchained was his best film to date in my opinion, and this is also a western...so....I was disappointed to hear it was axed, so this is good news for me, even if it's damaged Quentin's reputation somewhat. But I think we've always known he's a bit of a prick, so it's not really a big deal at the same time.

MadHero15: More of a Pulp Fiction guy, but I really love Django, so I can't wait to see him make the film, my thoughts on the guy aside.

Flashpenny: Quentin Tarantino's public persona is so obnoxious and out-of-touch of what is socially acceptable that "damaged" is a word that I don't think can be applied to it.  I love all of his movies I've seen barring Bastards, so, yeah, I guess I'm looking forward to this too.

The Stickman: I respect the guy from a filmmaking standpoint but yeah, like a lot of directors, he's a bit of an arrogant tit. So yeah, excited to see the film's back on track, but Quentin is still a dick. The lawsuit against Gawker got thrown out, unsurprisingly, so I guess we can expect to see them massacred in his next film in some form. 

MadHero15: Part of me wishes the lawsuit against Gawker was viable, because man I don't like Gawker.

FLASH GORDON TO GET A REBOOT, COURTESY OF STAR TREK WRITERS

Moving onto our next story, Hollywood has said that there is a reboot of Flash (AH-AHHHHH) Gordon in the works. For those not in the know, Flash Gordon was a popular serial comic strip created back in the 30's that eventually got made into a feature film in the 80's starring Sam Jones, Timothy Dalton, Max von Sydow and that guy from Fiddler on the Roof. If you've seen Ted, then you know what Flash Gordon is. Either way, it's being written by the guys who wrote the Star Trek reboots (both of which were pretty good movies) and these guys have gone on record saying that they desperately wanted to a Flash Gordon movie so this probably is going to be some sort of passion project. Personally, I love the original (cheesy though it is) but these people seem to be knowing what they're doing so I'm not too cynical about it. So long as they keep the Queen soundtrack. (FLASH AH-AHHHHH SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE *guitar riff*)

The Stickman: So...yeah, this is an odd decision.

MadHero15: .......I have never seen Flash Gordon, and I feel ashamed about this fact.

Flashpenny: You should change that. It ranks up there with Commando as one of the enjoyably bad movies to come out of the 80's

The Stickman: Am I the only one who thinks this was very much a product of its time, rather than something that could thrive in modern times?

Flashpenny: Well, to be fair, they say that about Star Trek and this is going to be made by the same people who updated that for the modern times. Also, the original has one of the coolest action scenes I have ever watched and if they can bring that back, that I'll be all set with it.

MadHero15: Star Trek had a sense of weight to it though. It lends itself much easier to getting the reboot than Flash, which would have to be self-aware, because especially after that one scene in Ted, no one's going to take Flash Gordon seriously.

The Stickman: And if they reboot it into a darker, grittier tone, then what's the point of making it to begin with?

Flashpenny: If they try to reboot into a darker tone then all hope is probably lost from the word go.

MadHero15: Flash Gordon has been around forever. Syfy tried to reboot it in 2007 with a tv series, but apparently that series was really, really bad.

The Stickman: That series was DREADFUL. And the film is pretty bad as well, but it's enjoyably bad, like the Resident Evil films....inmyopinionohgodnowI'mgoingtobemurdered.

Flashpenny: Anything with Syfy's name attached to it will more than likely be dreadful. Rule of thumb.

The Stickman: HEY, Stargate Universe was the bomb. And that's why it got cancelled. I can't see this remake ending up as anything but bad, if it ends up as anything at all.

Flashpenny: I would probably be decrying it too but, again, the people behind this have shown that they're good at their jobs.

MadHero15: Let's hope these writers know how to tackle the subject, but hey, this reboot won't have Queen, and that's a automatic fail in my book.

Flashpenny: No Queen? T__T

The Stickman: Just listen to the originals soundtrack, and ignore this potential disaster.

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MadHero15: And with that news story out of the way, we move on to the part you're probably the most interested in: OUR REVIEW FOR AMAZING SPIDER MAN 2! Take it away, Stickman, tell us what you thought?

The Stickman: OH SHIIIIIIIIIT!

Flashpenny: Yes, listen to the Man of Stick as he tells you why you should or shouldn't watch this movie since it comes out this week in Americaland.

REVIEW
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2

Director: Marc Webb (Amazing Spider-Man 1, 500 Days of Summer
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Dane Dehaan

​Synopsis: Peter Parker (Garfield) faces the strong Electro (Foxx), whilst also dealing with the impact being Spider-Man has on his life, both good and bad.

The Stickman: So, yes! The Amazing Spider-Man 2 came out here in the UK just over a week ago now, and I managed to see it (After some difficulty due to illness) pretty close to us starting to write this episode! What did I think? Well, LET ME TELL YOU.

First thing to say, this is definitely a better film than the original, it's a far more coherent, consistent film than the previous one, which suffered from a lot of grief in the editing room, and therefore felt like a film of two parts, with the middle bit missing. Not the case this time, whilst things still aren't quite perfect, it's a lot better this time around, with the origin story retread out of the way, the film can focus on telling its own story, and it does so very well.

As with the first, there's a lot of great acting to be had, the emotional scenes carry a far bigger punch than the ones in the original trilogy, which ended up a bit overly corny, although there is still some of that to be had here. What's especially great is that they've FINALLY forgone a lot of the annoying clichés of the previous ones, for instance, there's no vomit inducing "MURICUH FUCK YEAH" moment this time, and it doesn't follow the laid out formula of old Spidey, it feels a lot more like its own product. The actions scenes are also hugely enjoyable, and the directing is still top notch.

The biggest downside to this film is how predictable it is, without spoiling anything, the writing is on the wall for one major sequence from the first 10 minutes, and although entertaining, it never goes in a direction you don't expect, apart from when it's a bad direction....needless to say, if you were worried about three villains crowding the film...yeah...just don't worry about that, with both good and bad effect. The soundtrack is also bizarrely schizophrenic, with Electro getting some god awful dubstep/heavy metal mix every time he's on screen, which completely goes against the tone of the film. 

So yeah, it's a much better film than the first, probably the best Spidey film yet, but it's also still suffering from some behind the scenes flaws and predictability. If you're going in for another dose of fun spidey action with a beating heart within, you won't be let down.

Flashpenny: Your statement of this being better than the first one now has me excited because I really liked the first movie, a lot more than the original trilogy (except for Spider-Man 2).  I'm kind of curious since they said there's 3 villains, who exactly is the main villain of the film?

The Stickman: Same here Flash, despite a lot of people disliking the first, I enjoyed it for all its flaws and enjoyed the second a whole lot more because it takes what was good about that one and removes most of the bad. The villain with the most focus is Electro, I'll say that much.

MadHero15: I should probably point out that I didn't like the first Amazing Spider-man. At all. I dunno, it felt really inconsistent and sloppy. But from what you're saying, they seemed to have fixed that.

Flashpenny: Also, are the effects on the Rhino as bad as it was in the trailers?

The Stickman: The character of Rhino is the weakest link of the film, I didn't notice the CGI being that bad...but...without spoiling anything, I really wouldn't worry about him. His impact isn't all that large compared to other characters, I'll put it that way.

MadHero15: How much does this set up the Sinister Six, as we know now Sony seems to be working on that.

The Stickman: There's definitely a lot of teases in there for the Sinister Six, that's clearly the direction they wish to head down in the future.

Flashpenny: I'll admit that I find the positive reviews surprising since the 3 villains was sort of what killed the last trilogy (although that was incidentally the ONE THING in Spider-Man 3 I didn't think was bad). It seems like they have more balance this time around. Either way, I think I might spend money on this in the near-future.

The Stickman: The balance isn't as bad as we expected, and that's both a good and bad thing, and I can't really explain that without spoiling the film. You'll see for yourself if you watch it. Spider-Man 3 this ain't.

MadHero15: Before you move on to Final Thoughts, what do you think of the credits stinger? Y'know, the X-men one.

The Stickman: Ahh yes...well...that was pretty rubbish actually, both as a mid-credits tease for THIS film, and also a tease for the X-Men film. It doesn't really do anything beyond show an out of context clip from Days of Future Past...it's...yeah it's not very good. There's no other after-credits tease, so it's not worth staying for particularly.

MadHero15: So no sticking after the credits then. Alright. Final thoughts?

FINAL THOUGHTS

The Stickman: If you liked the first Amazing Spider-Man, this is going to be a must see for you, it maintains the tone, visuals, heart and humour of the first film whilst being able to tell its own story and avoid a lot of the cliches the Spider-Man films have gathered. It's main flaw is how predictable it is, but it's still one hell of a ride, hugely entertaining, and not nearly as bad as we'd all feared from reading about the number of villains, and the controversial cuts. In my opinion it's the best Spider-Man film yet, but if you weren't a fan of what was laid out in the last one tonally, you may not enjoy this one either. Don't bother with the X-Men teaser though.

Flashpenny: I still think it's going to be one Hell of an act to top Spider-Man 2 but, yeah, I'm going to see this.

MadHero15: Hmmmm, I'm still sceptical, but who knows. I do love me some Spider-Man. We'll see

The Stickman: And if you've seen the film, let me know what you thought in the comments!

Flashpenny: And if you're in the center of the world (America), check it out when it comes out May 2nd (I think)!

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MadHero15: With that review gone, it’s time to discuss some films coming to theaters. Besides Spider-Man, there aint much, but we'll try anyway because that's what we do!

Flashpenny: First off on the list is...The Amazing Spider-Man 2!

Flashpenny: NEXT!

The Stickman: Yeah, you're about to find out why I just wrote so much in that review. TAAA DAAA, THERE'S FUCK ALL ELSE OUT.

MadHero15: NAH MAN, THERE'S......there's......ummm.....this?

Brick Mansions

Director: Camille Delamarre
Starring: Paul Walker, David Belle, RZA

Synopsis: An undercover Detroit cop (Walker) navigates a dangerous neighborhood that's surrounded by a containment wall with the help of an ex-con (Belle) in order to bring down a crime lord (RZA) and his plot to devastate the entire city.

The Stickman: What even is.

Flashpenny: The last movie made by Paul Walker of Fast and Furious fame. It's only claim to fame is exactly that.

The Stickman: Is this the one where there's a bunch of buildings walled off and they're full of druggies and gangsters?

MadHero15: Yep.

Flashpenny: Even though Paul Walker was a pretty good and likable actor, the man didn't always choose the best movies.

The Stickman: I saw a trailer for that before The Raid 2 (Which was AMAZING, go see that), and it looked like nothing more than dumb...and I mean VERY dumb fun. It could be entertaining, but I'm imagining it'll just be stupid.

Flashpenny: Ditto. Minus The Raid 2 part.

The Stickman: Paul Walker wasn't a particularly great actor, his inclusion in this film won't add much even if it was his last film.

MadHero15: It’s produced by Luc Besson, who does a lot of this sort of stuff. It looks like it could be fun. If you're a big Paul Walker fan, of course you're going to see it, this being his last finished film and all. Also, RZA is the villain in this. Just saying.

The Stickman: The trailer entertained me, but it was very long and I feel like I've pretty much seen all the best bits...so...yeah, I'll give this one a miss.

Flashpenny: Maybe when it comes on DVD and I'm drunk one night, I'll watch it.

MadHero15: NEXT FILM!

The Quiet Ones

Director: John Pogue
Starring: Jared Harris, Sam Claflin, Olivia Cooke

Synopsis: A university professor (Harris) and a team of students conduct an experiment on a young woman, uncovering terrifyingly dark, unexpected forces in the process.

Flashpenny: This comes from Stickman's neck of the woods and is now being released in America so, Sticky, what is it?

MadHero15: You know Hammer Films (those Dracula movies with Christoper Lee), WELL THEY'RE BACK!

The Stickman: So...this is the new film from Hammer Horror, the people who last brought you the exceptionally enjoyable  'The Woman in Black'. Unfortunately this one seems to be less inspiring.

Flashpenny: All I know is that it involves Jared Harris a.k.a. that one British actor that you all recognize from a lot of movies and TV shows but never know his name.

The Stickman: It's Jared Harris.

Flashpenny: And just like that, I forgot it again.

MadHero15: He was Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes 2. There, now you know.

Flashpenny: I know him as Moriarty, Ulysses Grant in Lincoln and Lane in Mad Men. Holy shit, he's been in some damn good stuff.

The Stickman: Back to the film. Basically, there's a house, and there's a girl, and there's ghosts and demons and shit.

Flashpenny: Sounds legit.

The Stickman: The reviews haven't been great, and that's left me rather disappointed because I love me some Hammer Horror, but only when it's good Hammer. After Woman in Black I expected better quality productions from them, but yeah, this one ain't worth seeing until it hits DVD, probably.

Flashpenny: I'll admit that I've only seen one Hammer horror film and I barely qualify having seen it since I was half-asleep but they apparently churned out a lot of classics back in the day.

MadHero15: Same here. I love a good Hammer film, but this looks kinda generic honestly. Next time, Hammer, next time

The Stickman: Tell you what guys and gals, don't watch this, and watch The Abominable Snowman instead...that's a cracker of a classic Hammer Horror film. Or The Woman in Black, if you haven't seen it already.

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Flashpenny: I think that’s about it when it comes to new films coming out! There's jack and shit on the DVD front so...now what?

The Stickman: ... ... ....... *Ahem* ....Doo...doodooo...dooob...do...dee...dooo....

MadHero15: No Movie of the Week, guys. Sorry, but the DVD release schedule is really barren today.

The Stickman: Go watch The Raid 2 and Amazing Spider-Man 2...anything with a 2 that's out now....except A Haunted House 2.

MadHero15: So because of that, we'll talk about our favorite/strangest experiences of going to a movie.

Flashpenny: I’ve got one. To date, the best time I've ever had in a theater is still watching Casino Royale back when I was 11.

 I still remember going into that theater and everyone in the audience thinking it was going to be terrible and then we were all blown away by how great of a movie it was. Also, that scene at the end made everyone in the room go nuts. People were shouting, cheering, screaming, that's still one of the most electrifying experiences in my life.

The Stickman: People were like that when I saw Skyfall...James Bond obviously brings out a lot of emotions in people.

Flashpenny: Mmmm-hmm, yes he does.

MadHero15: Skyfall is the only Bond film I’ve seen in theaters :(

Flashpenny: Skyfall was a great time too. So, anyone else got one?

The Stickman: Oh I've got a doozy...but you wanna go first Mad?

MadHero15: I’ll go. One of my favorite movie going experiences was going to the Avengers close on opening day in Guadalajara, Mexico.

The line was absolutely massive, and I had to make sure I saw the regular version instead of a Spanish dubbed one. Anyway, its one of the few times I was in a full theater (at least a very big one), and it was a blast. Everyone was very much in the moment and when Hulk destroyed that snake monster, everyone let out a great cheer and everyone started clapping. I'd never experienced that kind of energy. One guy's phone went off and everyone started booing him. It was great.

Flashpenny: If you didn't see The Avengers in the theaters, I pity you. Also, the scene that got the audience cheering in my theater was the bit where the Hulk beat the shit out of Loki.

MadHero15: I've seen it three times in theaters.

Flashpenny: God, that entire last forty-five minutes of the movie is still one of the best action scenes ever made. Watching it on the big screen was amazing.

The Stickman: The Avengers was one hell of a film to watch on opening day, I saw it the day after and the atmosphere was still electric. Cheers, jeers, clapping, full on 3D non-stop action brilliance...awesome film, awesome experience.

MadHero15: Yeah, the film was a huge event.

Flashpenny: I caught it about three weeks after the initial rush (I was late, I know) and it was still an experience. It was a great time all around.

The Stickman: Deathly Hallows Part 2 was a bit like that as well.  People cheered when one of the characters blew up a Death Eater. Good times.

Flashpenny: Ah, but The Avengers has the bonus of being a good movie. #sorrynotsorry

The Stickman: OH SHIT! ALL THE POOTER HEADS WILL BE AFTER YOU NOW.

MadHero15: I saw the last Harry Potter movie in the same theater I saw the first.

The Stickman: I would have done that but the cinema I saw the first one in was closed down by the time the last one came out.

Flashpenny: I don't even remember the cinema I saw the first one in.

MadHero15: In any case, Stickman, what is your favorite cinema related story?

The Stickman: I got a great story for you guyses. So, mine's not strictly a film screening so much as a film festival screening. I went to an  Animation Festival a couple years back, and they did a lot of short film collection screenings...being indie/adult animation there was a lot of violence/nudity/sex and the such. One screening I was in, about 5 minutes after it started, two parents and their kid walked in and sat down. Which I thought was a bit strange but HEY, I'd of wanted to come at that age. The first film they saw had a brief flash of an animated penis, which threw them off, but then the next one started with a bunch of cute cartoon sheep, so they settled back down thinking they were in the right place...and then...the sheep started dying...and committing suicide...in graphic detail...and it turned out they'd gone to the wrong screening room, the kid friendly animation one was next door...needless to say they left pretty sharpish and I was giggling like a school girl. 

Flashpenny: That's actually pretty hilarious.

The Stickman: I know right?

MadHero15: Hahahaha, holy shit, that's great. The kid is probably scarred though.

The Stickman: I dunno man, when I was that age I was watching creepy animated shorts and loving the hell out of it.

Flashpenny: Kids love that sort of stuff so I'm sure he'll be fine. I can only imagine the look on the parents' face though.

MadHero15: True, that's why Happy Tree Friends got so popular.

The Stickman: If you ever get a chance to see the short 'Oh Sheep!', watch it, imagining that exact scenario...it...it's glorious.

MadHero15: Its probably a bigger deal for the parents than for the kids, same when they accidentally played the Nymphomaniac trailer with a Frozen screening.

The Stickman: DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT FILM.

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MadHero15: I think we've reached the end of At the Screwvies. Sorry for the lackluster schedule, folks. Blame Hollywood. BUT HEY, SPIDER-MAN!

Flashpenny: We're sorry. We promise we'll have more shit next time. Until then, I'm Flash AH-AHHHH

The Stickman: We really were... *Puts on shades* SWINGING IT this week.

Flashpenny: SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE!  *guitar riff*.

The Stickman: LATER GATOOOORRRS.

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