Terrible Moments in Your Gamer Life

Posted on August 10, 2012 - 1:30pm by Alpha Unit

TLDR;

This pissed me off, that pissed me off, and that pissed me off, oh, and that pissed me off, too.-This blog in a nutshell. 

 Has there ever been that time where you felt that game you were playing was meant to piss you off? Or has there been a time in your gamer life where you couldn't have possibly been anymore more frustated? Yes, I'm guessing yes because a lot of gamers are raging volcanoes full of pent up rage. Stuff like that is surprisingly all over Youtube and in those Game Stop commercials that keep running over and over again. 

Over the course of gaming's surprisingly short existance on Earth, I have decided to collect everything I have experienced that really fused and ignited an explosion of anger that culminated into an ear damaging scream which may or may have not got my dad to ask "What the hell is going on?"

The Blue Shells from Mario Kart

Damn these things, they weren't such a big problem in the older Mario Karts, but now that these things are the exploding plague of flying blue shells, you can now tell that Nintendo is out to kick your ass and rape you after many have called their recent games "kiddie" or "too easy".  No, Xbox Live kid side of the internet, the blue shell will ruin you harder than anybody on Live. Including your cousin Freddy. He's no match for this.

So you're in first, and you may have done this with the complete skill you have picked up over your time playing the kart racer, but it's all about to get ruined around the the final parts of the race because the A.I. is behind you like those terrible 6th grade memories you can't forget. No skill, your being attacked by a practically unavoidable item and all you have to defend yourself is a couple of damn bananas and a couple of turtle shells. Nothing more. None of that is capable of helping much besides the occasional red shell, which is nothing in comparison to the blue. Your reward for reaching first is to be forced into pain from a flying turtle shell. This is nearly cheating and hit you at the most inconvieniant points, say above a pit or perhaps near the finish line at the third lap. Then again, this does make the victory all the sweeter. 

tl;dr Blue shells will make you their bitch if they know you have the soul of a winner.

Finding "Jesus Christ" while playing online

I'm not normally an online type of dude, but if I go online on a game that I do have enough experience with, I may be able to hold my own. But some people devote absolutely all their time to certain games, which is something I really can't do. Sometimes, there's just that one guy you find online that has no life. Absolutely none. I've wasted around maybe more than a 100 hours on Team Fortress 2, but alot of people probably broke maybe more than a thousand perhaps. 

Sometimes, you see him (or her, but I doubt it's a chick) do moves like no other. He's untouchable, he preforms manuevers you've never thought of. Perhaps in a sports game or a shooting game, he's really fucking untouchable and can probably make a lot of points or kill you a bajillion times without getting killed himself without even trying. He is in fact so good, he has perhaps wasted his entire time from launch day playing it. It's laughable iand pathetic, yet at the same time, impressive and awe inspiring to see a guy online that is an absolute BEAST. (You're supposed to shout when you read BEAST. The first one, not the second one)

New PC Game You Bought Won't Run

Plenty of games that I've played run on my pre-assembled PC from 2011, but when they don't...FUCKSHITCUNTBITCHASSFUCKBITCHCUNTSHITBITCHSHITFUCKBITCHASS! I can't afford to buy more RAM or a new GPU at the moment! Someone lend me either of those!!!

You Hate the Overly Hyped Game Other People Love

I heard a lot of nice shit on Secret of Mana. It was a fondly remembered game from Square that helped pick up the Action RPG genre, but when I downloaded it on Wii Virtual Console and finally got to play it...I was unimpressed. With both the narrative and the gameplay. I didn't get very far. I just couldn't get into either the gameplay or the story, it just didn't click for me. The most I liked from the game was the title screen music.

I had a similar case with Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, it was just a big generic RPG; the kind you see when TV shows make unflattering stereotypes of nerds, which are all untrue because nerdism stuff is really mainstream. Well, the worlds were bland, the story was forgettable, and the combat didn't feel tight. I got really deep into the game, but later on, I just got confused by what was going on and decided that it just wasn't worth anymore of the time I could've been using to play something else. 

And when I tell people I hate this game they may be like: "What? But it had this and that. That's strange." We all have different tastes, and I'm guessing you guys have been in a similar situation. But if you hate a game I like, you're obviously long, because only my opinion matters if you know me well enough.

Forgetting to Save

This is a damned whopper. Has anyone played a game for hours on end, beat this really hard part, or basically just got around to an important plot point? Then for whatever reason, you just don't save? Perhaps you were too tired or just forgot when you shut the game off when you quit. This isn't really a problem for games with auto-save, but many PC  games and Japanese games do require manual saving to this day...So when you forget to save at any important point or long session...Well...Shit. I have lost so much progress on Pokemon to this day.

Scratched Disc

Ah yes. This. In my childhood, I wasn't really a dude who knew how to take proper care of discs...I'm properly educated on this now, but...Damn. Screw disc errors. You still get these if you buy used games, which shows the guys that sold the disc knew it was scratched all along, and they sold it for a minor profit. Life isn't fair. 

Hitting "Yes" when Kaepora Gaebora Asks You if You want to Him to Repeat That Last Bit

Screw you, man. I mean owl. I just wanna breeze through the text quickly by rapidly pushing A, but as a it turns out, you snuck in "Yes" as a default answer when you ask me if I want to repeat that question. Nobody needs you to repeat it! Nobody! Please! Cheeky bastard! 

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That's pretty much all I can think of for now, as I pretty much wrote this as quick as possible for some greater things I'm preparing. I'm getting busier as time goes on, because I'm going back to school so I can finally have some actual female interaction. So here's my most current brain baby until I can really, really get into the creative writing mood again. (I really drained myself a while ago).

Besides that, I really don't have much to say to say because this was a quickie, not a sticky. So are there any  things in your gamer life that really pissed you the fuck off? I can only assume "yes", complete and total yes. Move onto the comments and tell me those exact things that pissed you off because I love you.

 

Stay thirsty, my friends.

ALPHA UNIT

 

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