Top 10 Guest Characters for Super Smash Bros
In the spirit of "Holy Shit am I bored Day", which is every Thursday in October, I started thinking about what a mirror version of me would be like. Thus the most lovable philanthropist, philatelist and supporter of gay marriage was born: [G3R]bENnIgElING_3L1735N1P3R_212.
Then I imagined what would happen if he wrote something. What are the thoughts I would never think? Can a man but try to capture the spirit of all that is not him? Can he grasp what hides behind the curtains of disgust? Would the terror of his own dark side not send him into a spiraling descent into madness?
Then I figured it'd be fun to fuck with people, so here's the WORST POSSIBLE Top 10 Smash Bros Guest Characters!
Before I start ridiculing 30% of the world's population, I want to make one thing abundantly clear: I am no different. I too have unrealistic, stupid hopes for future Smash Bros games. Just not THAT unrealistic and stupid.
Just a quick reminder: Everything that follows the next line is a joke.
Now that that's out of the way, over to you, [G3R]bENnIgElING_3L1735N1P3R_212.
Well, well, well, looks like Suck-U-rai decided to include Sonic and Mega Man in Smash Bros. What a dumb idea! There's so many 3rd party characters that would be way better than the Blue Barf and the...er...Blue...Barfer.
9. Mark the Ninja(Mark the Ninja)
Nintendo doesn't support Indian devolpers enough and Smash Bros needs Grapplers! Mark could do his sneaky kills as throws and he has a chain so he can climb back up again, and he can use his thing...his tattoo of the Ninjas to teleport and all other players can't see far because he's a Ninja!!!. He's very light and small so he dies fast but is hard to hit (because he's a Ninja!!!(!)). He can also freeze time and run on walls, and in his Monster Mash he drops a chend- chandli- big lamp on the stage!
8. Decus(Tales of Symphonia 2)
The Tales of games are the best and don't range from bad to slightly above average, only idiots say that! Decus is awesome because his attacks have German names, and German is the best language and all others should learn it so people can finally understand them! He should always shout the names of his attacks, especially Sturm und Drang, because that's the best one, but Ausbruch is also really good and his Final Flash is all of them at the same time!
7. Super Meat Boy (Super Meat Boy)
Super Meat Boy from Super Meat Boy can jump and run with unparalleled precision and er...and...hm.
6. Morgan Freeman(Half-Life 2: Episode 1)
In Super Smash Bros the greatest heroes and villains in video game history hit each other a lot until they fall of the thing. But there's one important hero the series doesn't have yet: Morgan Freeman from Half-Life 2: Episode 1. He can just have all of Snake's moves - it's not like he's going to need them anymore- and his Prickly Pash is exactly what it sounds like.
5. Captain Price (BlOplCoBl 8)
An even bigger and iconicer characterer than Morgan Freeman is of course The-Captain-formerly- known-as-Price. He uses guns for his attacks, and uses guns for his special attacks and uses a slightly bigger gun for his Gun Gun.
4. bENnIgElING the XHedgehogX
3. Pacman (Pacman)
2. Shrek (Shrek)
I was really disappointed when they decided to remove all Shrek characters from Shrek Super Slam 2, and kinda surprised when the game was renamed and released as the Smash Bros spin off Sony Battle Royal Allstars: Sony Allstars Battle Battle. This is why Shrek needs to be in the original Smash Bros series. If they don't put Shrek in, Smash Bros will see the same drop in quality as the Super Slam series has with Allstars Rosy Soy Battle. His Crash Bash is the super fart from the original Super Slam.
1. The Dragon (Heroes of Might & Magic)
Heroes of Might & Magic II was the greatest turnbased strategy game on the Gameboy Color, but Nintendo don't show the love the franchise deserves. What better representative could there be than the most powerful unit from the original HoM&M: The Dragon! He can fly and spit fire and...fly and when he uses his Splish Splash, fan favorite Warlock Alamar appears and casts the iconic Elemental Rain EVERYONE knows and loves.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take a long bath to wash off the [G3R]ms. Why don't you make a ridiculous suggestion for the next Smash Bros while I'm gone. Knock yourself out. And don't wait for me to come back, that's not how text works.
Okay, I'm back, I forgot to bring my novelty sized rubber du- What are you standing around here for? Go on, comment. Chop-chop!
I am confused, yet curious
We grew up in completely different worlds. Where I grew up, video games were not a thing(my uncle and a friend of his were the only ones in the entire village who owned some) until around the time Pokémon came up 1998. That was an overly complicated way of saying 'Neither my granny nor anyone else among my ancestors ever played Pac Man' if ever I saw one.
My problem with Pac Man is, that while the original really is as famous as a character can get(and I adore him despite disliking his game), he wouldn't actually be able to do much in Smash Bros; on the other hand, the arms'n'legs-design is, in my opinion, just not iconic at all. It's a completely different character with the same name, banking on the popularity of his predecessor, and has done nothing to deserve being added to the roster.
Captain Price! Guns! Perfect for fighting!
Pac Man is historically the most famous video game mascot, even though he's been almost irrelevant to contemporary gamers. Case and point, ask your grandma who pac man is. She might know Sonic, she'll probably know Mario, but you know granny kicked ass on Pac Man back in the day!
Yoshimitsu would be radical indeed.
I might actually do that some day. Now that Ask the Experts sadly seems to be done, I need a new outlet for all of my nonsense.
You are way too right about Voldo. I put Yoshimitsu at No 10 because I(the real me) actually really want him. Also: BATMAN, FUCK YEAH!
The sarcasm is biting, and the intro and conclusion almost sound too apologetic. This was great. The first thing that got me was "Indian developers" in "Mark the Ninja," and the punches kept rolling. I'd love to see you elaborate on bENnIgElING the XHedgehogX.
No, the worst possible video game character to appear in smash bros. if were talking Soulcaliber is Voldo. Picture a group of little Nintendo fans learning what S&M is through their Wii U's.( Also I approve of number 4)
Pac-Man is Miyamoto's favorite video game character, and he's probably up there with Mario and Sonic for most famous video game mascot.