Reviews of Metro 2033 and de Blob 2 are still on the way at some point in the near future, as is some talk about a mystery project I've been mulling over on the Twittersphere, so keep an eye out for all of these. And if you like this blog please do your bit to spread it around, whether it be on Twitter, Facebook, or directly to ScrewAttack. The more love the better! Enjoy!
10. Lara Croft.
Underrated by : Horny Nerds.
Now, I'm not by any means trying to suggest that people haven't heard of Lara Croft, afterall she was one of the first gaming characters to really break into mainstream culture all the way back in the...*Gasp* 90's! What I'm trying to say is that she is so heavily underrated by the majority of people, who just see her as a pair of titties and a big arse. And, okay, those features have clearly been chosen by the developers to draw in players, but there is so much more to Lara then just something for "the guys" to jack off over. For instance, she's a badass archaeologist, did you know that? She's traveled all around the world kicking ass and shooting foreign people into Swiss cheese, all in the name of recovering artifacts which she then goes on to hoard in a secret room in her mansion where only she can enjoy them! She's fought Atlantian gods, dragons, dinosaurs, centaurs, sharks, tigers and butlers, to name a few, pulling all this off without breaking a sweat and always remaining an air of classy British wit. What more could you want? Oh, and she's got a nice rack as well. Perfect.
Unloved by : Capcom.
Being a fan favorite is just another way of saying you're an obscure, weird side character, often with a helmet or other object placed around your face. The point I'm trying to get at is that whilst the fans may sing Mr Death's praises, HUNK has never been more than a casual inclusion in the Resident Evil games, having a brief, optional introductory side mission in Resident Evil 2 and a recreation of that sequence in Umbrella Chronicles, beyond that, he's occasionally a playable character in The Mercenaries mini-game. Why hasn't this mysterious badass been looked at more in the Resident Evil games? There have been so many spin-offs, for better or worse, but HUNK has always remained firmly rooted in the RE2 storyline and nowhere else. Presuming he isn't going to be a last minute reveal, he also won't be making an appearance in Resident Evil 6 beyond a possible non-canon appearance in Mercs, which isn't even a 100% guarantee either seeing as he was missed out of RE5. Someday, I'm sure we will get a new look at HUNK, and it will probably ruin the character, but until that day where I regret these very words, I'd love to see more of him.
8. Cole Phelps.
Underrated by : Critics.
People were divided on L.A Noire, but the fact of the matter is it sold very well, even if Team Bondi closed down soon after release. I'm not here to suggest that L.A Noire wasn't a big deal when it came out, I'm here to suggest that the protagonist, Cole Phelps, badge 1247, was severely overlooked and underrated by critics, particularly when it came to the end of year awards last year, where more people seemed to think Nathan Drake was worthy of praise and awards than complex, tortured soul Phelps. Now, I'm not ragging on the Drake, god forbid I incur the rage of angry nerds, but in my opinion those awards should go to new characters, not ones that are currently starring in their 3rd game. L.A Noire was a breathtakingly original game, and Cole Phelps was a breathtakingly unique character. A war veteran with a tragic past turned rising star detective, the game played out like a full on movie experience and Phelps was the deep, likable character that held it all together. I can't believe he received as little love as he did.
7. Samus Aran.
Unloved by : Nintendo, players of Other M.
Oh dear...Oh dear...what on earth happened to you Samus? After 25 years of being the cold, quiet but awesome intergalactic bounty hunter and female game character that the others could only look up at in hope and wonder, you had to go and open your big mouth and ruin everything! Yes, it seems that thanks to the controversial 2010 game Metroid : Other M, your reputation is in tatters and your future looks questionable. Think what you will about Other M (And it seems you have done, very loudly) Nintendo put a lot of money and time into the game and not only did it not pay off, but it also angered existing fans by rewriting Samus as a weak, emotional person who desperately seeked the approval of all those big strong men in the military, despite having in the past been mainly detached and uninterested in the "Galatic Federation", of which she has most recently (At least chronologically) had a rather strong falling out with by disobeying their orders and destroying an entire research facility, WOOPSY! Anyway, last year was Metroid's 25th Anniversary, and how did Nintendo commemorate this milestone Birthday for such a important, genre defining game and character? Nothing. Literally nothing. With all of Nintendo's main franchises having either already received at least one semi-new title in the past year or have already been confirmed a sequel for one of Nintendo's many platforms soon, Metroid seems to be on the way out, along with Samus. Is it fair to give Samus the cold shoulder and refuse fans another chance to get behind the visor just because they screwed up her character? No, no it isn't.
6. de Blob.
Unloved and Underrated by : THQ, Critics, Gamers, Children, People with Money.
Poor old de Blob. Poor poor de Blob. What on earth happened? Pre-de Blob 2 the world seemed your oyster, THQ seemed very keen to make a huge franchise out of you spanning games, TV, films, toys...the works. de Blob 2 came out, people liked it, but no-one seemed to buy it...and then, without a second chance, BOOM, cancelled. Your studio closed and your future seemingly extinguished. And what a damn shame because you were a brilliant, fun and quite literally colorful character who managed to charm me more in 2 small games then the likes of Master Chief or Captain Price managed in 3 (So far) blockbuster titles. Sure, he didn't say a word, he wasn't a very deep character and the obvious anti-capitalist undertones of the games were both worrying and ironic considering they were both published and branded by an evil corporation, but he was just...fun, y'know? Like the many Mario/Sonic platformer wannabes of the 80's/90's de Blob managed to worm his way into my heart which is why it's so gut-wrenching that I probably won't be seeing him again. Semper Fi Blob! SEMPER FIIIIII!
5. Isaac Clarke.
Underrated by : Critics, Gamers.
Oh look! The Stickman is going on about Dead Space again! What a surprise! Yes, yes I know I seem to give a hell of a lot of oral pleasure to the best and possibly only true horror franchise on modern consoles, and then I try to cover that up by always starting list mentions with meta "Oh look, he's talking about it again" comments...so that makes this very meta. Nice. Anyway, where were we? Issac Clarke, yes. Granted, in the first Dead Space game he was nothing more than a cool looking but mute protagonist, his only uttered phrases were muffled but clearly blood curdling screams of pain as he got his arms and legs torn off of him by hideous space monsters, but in Dead Space 2? He was so much more. He's one of gamings few heroic characters to actually suffer from the mentally degrading effects of mass murder and being attacked by the murderous ghost of his former girlfriend, not to mention being exposed to a mysterious object that causes people to go insane and kill themselves. Not only that but he's particularly special because, before all of this he was just an ordinary intergalactic space mechanic, now thrown into a fight for survival and sanity. Despite all this he still has a sense of humor, but not so much as to be called a cliche wise cracking action hero. All in all a brilliantly developed character and truly underrated and unloved by all, cept yours truly of course, I don't miss anything, I'm amazing like that.
4. Alan Wake.
Unloved by : Critics, Gamers.
Not quite smart enough to be revered, not quite corny enough to be amusing, poor old Alan Wake is a funny old character, but a good one all the same. Being a writer, Wake feels the need to narrate all his situations like they were part of a book, which will work for some people and not for others. It works for me, very much, so obviously I find it a bit disappointing to see the character doomed to the world of cult fandom, at least until Alan Wake 2 gets made and he becomes the big hit he deserves to be. Hmm...gotta be honest, I'm at a blank for what else to say on this particular character...bad I know, but there you go. NEXXXT!
Unloved and Underrated by : All of humanity.
God damn it! Again I have to lament over the disappointingly short lifespan of what could of been an amazing and powerful franchise. But, no! We're here to talk about Monkey himself, not Enslaved : Odyssey to the West, that game you should totally pick up and play since I told you to do that and 3500 people are witnesses to this! FUCK ALL OF YOU! There, got the F word into my blog, great. Anyway, Monkey is an adapted and humanized version of Chinese character Sun Wukong, who was, you guessed it! A monkey. The Monkey in Enslaved is a human, brought to life by Andy Serkis, a man known for playing King Kong...a...monkey...hmm...Anyway, he has monkey like attributes including a rather unsubtle string of rope attached to his waist that is quite clearly meant to represent a tail. But it's not about how monkey-like he is, the character would of been brilliant regardless of monkeyisity! He's a deep, beautifully voiced and acted guy who's been thrown into a chaotic, unwanted situation by a girl who he starts out at odds with but slowly develops a bond stronger than the slave headband she attached to him...which is kinda the point of the entire story I suppose. Monkey is awesome, Enslaved is awesome, you all suck for not loving him!
2. Kyle Hyde.
Unloved and Underrated by : "Mainstream" Gamers, People with Moneys, Nintendo.
Another brilliant character doomed to live in the realm of Twogamesorlessonlydom along with de Blob and Monkey and probably Cole Phelps (But for a different reason, I'd presume). Kyle Hyde is the star of cult smash Hotel Dusk : Room 215, and unheard of bomb Last Window : The Secret of Cape West, a former cop turned washed out delivery man plagued by the memories of his betraying partner and cursed with a inquisitive paranoia that will lead him into situations he should of probably left well alone, Kyle is, YOU GUESSED IT, a deep complex character, man I really do love those don't I? Whilst I have yet to play Last Window, but in Hotel Dusk at least he's a deeply likable and savvy guy who may have a terrible jacket but definitely knows his shit. It's a damn shame that people didn't seem interested in his first detective noir mystery game on the DS, leading Nintendo to skip America over on the sequel, dooming the game to the terrifying realm of "obscure Europe and Japan only" games, and sending developer Cing down the toilet and into non-existence. Grab Hotel Dusk and Last Window if you can, gang, I TOLD YOU TO DO IT AND YOU DIDN'T LISTEN. FUCK ALL Y'ALL, again.
Unloved and Underrated by : Anyone who didn't play his game in 1997.
Oh look! A goofy choice at number one? Oh that Stickman! Yes, I know, Croc lacks the charm of de Blob, or the depth of Kyle Hyde or even the sexy gas mask of HUNK, but god damn it, I love this little guy! And it's a damn shame we never got to see him in a truly great game, having only appeared in 2 main titles (And their Gameboy spin-offs) and a handful of cheapo mobile games that just scream washed up video game character. Wouldn't it be great to see Croc in a brand new game on the 3DS, or on the iPhone/Pad/Touch? We have the technology now to make a quirky, fun and cute platformer work without spending a fortune on main console development. I mean, sure if you wanted to make a 360/PS3 Croc game, go ahead, but I'm not expecting miracles here, I just want more Croc! And you want to know why? It's because...I am Croc! Back in the 90's I was a star! I COULD OF BEEN BIG, BUT MY TALENTS WERE LEFT UNDERUTILIZED AND NOW I'M SOME WASHED UP NOBODY ON A CRAPPY WEBSITE FULL OF STUPID NERDS! I mean...thank god I ended up on ScrewAttack! Yes...quite... *Sniff*
There you have it, if you liked my List, spread it around, get it to the people who need to see it, and all that shit. Later gators!
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