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Top 5 games that kill your hands

2/28/12 7:00pm
tl;dr

We all have that  one game that makes us feel like we just worked out at the gym. Here are my worst 5 for "Button Mashing". PLEASE NOTE: There will be no fighting games on this list!

 Ever played a game that forces you to do a QTE (quick time event) that makes you mash the buttons as fast as you can, often causing for pain and discomfort? I know you have. Heck, some guys like Heavy Rain and Shenmue are just one long QTE, but I'm leaving those out because I think they are really good games, and the button mashing goes well with the style of the game. But these five games force you to do much more than you need to. So, without further ado, this is my Top Five Games that Kill Your Hands (long title, eh?) QUICK NOTE! To meet the criteria of this list, you must: Be anything but a fighting game. So, here we go!

5. Press H (Online Flash Game)

www.kongregate.com/games/BlueTopazGames/press-h-button-mash

What better way to start off this list than a flash game built around, well, button mashing. Press H's concept is simple, you press H as fast as you can in a certain allotted time, and your score is based upon how many times you can mash H. It is sort of boring, but it does fit the criteria of this list. In other words, I only had thought of four and found this (Thanks Internet!)

4. God of War Series (PS2, PS3, PSP)

Kratos is sick of this button mashing shit!

Now, don't get me wrong, I love the GOW series. I own the Collections on the PS3 and have also played GOW III. The combat is fresh, and it is really fun to kill everything brutally in the game. But the only problem is the button mashing in the game. Often, you will be prompted to kill something with a button, illuminating over there head, like below. It will be a prompt for a QTE, and you have to mash buttons to kill them. But here is the kicker. If you happen to mess up, you have to do the QTE all over again! Having to mash circle over and over again to rip a minataur's jaw off can get highly repetitive. 

3. Winter Games (NES) 

When I first saw this reviewed by James Rolfe, I could not believe the level of crap that this game was. Every single game on here is mash this button, mash that button. Try and control your landing in "Hot Dog Aerials" (what type of name is that?!), and press wildly at the A button to go faster. I don't think me ranting about it would do it justice, so here is the link to the AVGN review of it

2. Mario Party Series (N64, Gamecube, Wii)

Perhaps the most famous hand killer of them all. Mario Party was introduced on the amazing N64, and had a collection of party games in a board game like scenario. The winner was the one who got the most stars, stars cost 20 coins, and you got 10 coins for winning a mini game. But a couple of games on the first, such as Tug of War, caused you to violently rotate the analog stick. Now, you could have used your thumb, but it was SO SLOW! Instead, we used our palm like a BOSS! And suffered the consequences! P.S. There is actually a game in the 5th Mario Party called "Button Masher"... 

What could possibly beat the torture of Mario Party? Well, this next one still gives me nightmares to this day.

1. Athens 2004 (PS2)

Oh wow, this game blows. I have never played a game that makes you mash buttons more ferociously than this game. Want to go faster in the 100m Dash? Mash the X button! How about throw the Javelin far? MASH THAT X BUTTON! Want to swim as fast as Michael Phelps in the Butterfly? You better be faster than a Ninja on speed, because you will most likely end up last in every single event! The only events I am good at is Archery, Equestrian, and 800/1500 meter. Why? Those are some of the only events that don't involve button mashing! The worst is weightlifting. It makes you feel like you are actually trying to weight lift, I guess.

What are some of your Button Mashers? Let me know in the comments!

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