Woodyman and foxdark22 count down their Top 5 Secret Agents in Video Games.
I have one final collab blog for List-Cember... even though it's January. You know what though? I don't care!
This will be the final blog of List-Cember/List-Uary and if you try to fight me on that fact, I will Dudley uppercut you!
Video games nowadays focus a lot on running and gunning but those aren't the only heros that need the spotlight shone on them. So instead of the pew pew pewers, foxdark22 and I are gonna be counting down the Top 5 Spies in Video Games. Similar to the collab blog I did with ExplodingLobster, Hero of Lime Dood, and Alpha Unit, this is a different kind of collab. I'm gonna count down my Top 5 Spies, and foxdark22 is gonna count down his Top 5 spies.
First let's get some background music.
And since I got yelled at for going first last time, I'll let foxdark22 go first. So let's go.
Hello my friends, this time I’m joining Woodyman to make the Ultimate List of Secret Agents, Spies and similar stuff.
The spies and secret agents are now a more common feature in videogames, we now see Deus Ex, Splinter Cell, Metal Gear Solid, etc; while in the old days we had Metal Gear, Golgo 13 and some other that escapes me now.
These guys and girls have always been mysterious and badass and because of that we love them most of the time
For the purposes of this list I will do whatever I want because I’m that awesome.
If you don’t like then screw you, because I had little time to do it
- Chun Li – Street Fighter Series
- James Bond – Everywhere
- Agent 47 – Hitman Series
- Austin Powers – Austin Powers Movies (I think it has some games) (It has! Probably they suck)
5.) Altair – Assassin’s Creed Series
WHAT? AN ASSASSIN? What is he doing here? Well, Altaïr ibn-La'Ahad the assassin we knew in Assassin’s Creed it is a spy/secret agent, let me tell you why: He has to investigate and infiltrate a lot in order to achieve his objective, he is sneaky, he needs to blend in the crowds (well, between the monks or whatever those guys in white are) and he needs to do all of this without being noticed, that is pretty much a spy.
Why do I like him? Because he is freaking cool, his clothes are awesome, he is way more badass than Ezio, plus in the later AC games the mission are more straightforward (no eavesdropping, per example), also he has the right amount of crap on him (Sword, Hidden Blade, Short Sword, Throwing Knives), he is effective and he had the guts to defeat his Master (But that was Desmond?... Hmmmm) And I just love him! (As a videogame character)
4.) Solid Snake – Metal Gear/Solid Series
This is my favorite Snake
This was pretty obvious, right? Snake, pretty much the ultimate spy, has saved the world so many times from those damn Metal Gears, has hit on so many woman, has fought Master Higgins and Simon Belmont in one game and Mario and the Captain Falcon in another. His badassness has reached super limits and when he is becoming old very quickly he doesn’t leave the cigarettes, and we all know that a person who smokes is freaking cool.
Is there anything more to say about him? Hmmmmm… NO!
So, enjoy this video with the codec calls in Smash Bros. Brawl
3.) Sam Fisher – Splinter Cell Series
Well, this is my personal opinion, but I think of Sam Fisher as the poor man’s Solid Snake, because he is cool, but not that much; he has great missions, but not epic and so on. But then why I listed higher than Snake? Well, this is because I have spent more time with him rather than with Snake, I have played more Splinter Cell than MG/S because I don’t like the PlayStation controller and I pretty much skipped some games on Sony systems because of that.
Well, Sam Fisher has some appeal, or had actually, I liked him more in the first games, when he had his original night vision goggles… and his daughter… (One moment of silence please) … … … (Enough)
But don’t get me wrong, I like the gameplay of the later games, but I like the character of the beginning, Michael Ironside made an excellent job there showing the rudeness of the guy and his cold personality (I always get indentified with characters like that: cold, a man of few words).
I really like him, I don’t know… NEXT ONE!
2.) Leon Scott Kennedy – Resident Evil Series
I’m talking about the post-RE2 Leon, after the Raccoon City incident and his loooong policeman career (LAWL), when he became a (secret?) government agent due to the impressive skills he showed to escape the zombies… after he became the elite agent and fought more zombies in an airport (Zombies on a Plane?) and killed another G-Virus creature. Leon is badass, he’s super agile, has great ability with weapons, both guns and knives, and he always gets some! (If you know what I mean)
He also rescued the US president’s daughter (Sam Fisher would like to talk to him) from a crazy Spanish cult, and in the way he found out almost everything about it and managed to destroy everything. Plus Leon has always been my favorite Resident Evil character (Well, the second after Tofu) and when I look at that blonde hair I get… soooo… nothing... HAHA I’m no Stickman…
This one may be the less spy on the list, but we can always stretch the meaning of the words… so don’t get mad people.
1.) Joanna Dark – Perfect Dark/Zero
Ohhhh Joanna Dark. What can I say about you? Nothing. Let this commercial explain it.
I don’t always play shooters on the N64, but when I do, it’s Perfect Dark. It’s such a great game, even if it is GoldenEye with boobs (Actually that’s better), but I’m not here to talk about the game.
About the original I don’t know if I like more the game or the model: Michelle Merkin (In that time) anyway, the character it’s very well done and it has a huge armory at her disposal which she can dominate without problem. She found an alien, she became friends with him, she took down a plane from the inside and survived, and she saved the president. That’s a girl I would like to know.
Now, the prequel… this is the younger Joanna Dark before joining the Institute, she is pretty annoying here, but it’s hotter… hmmmmm… decisions. Here due to her noob-ness she needs a lot of help in the missions and she takes a more offensive approach rather than super stealthier. But in the end of the day she gets the job done and we at least know that she has a bright future ahead. Plus I like PD Zero and I need to tell you, because most people hate it. So suck it.
That’s my list, maybe I’ll re-do it with more detail and research sometime in February (probably not, because I’m lazy, and because this is a Woodyman exclusive) (hehe) hope you liked it, because my list is probably going to be better than Woody’s because my list has too much awesomeness together…
This is Foxdark22 saying good day (or night) (whatever) Bye!
Okay, I already introduced the blog up above, so I won't really get into it. However, I'd just like to state that all of my choices are based on the following parameters.
To me a secret agent relies solely on stealth and cunning to achieve a goal rather that brute force.
And all entires are chosen based on how they act IN VIDEO GAMES and not other media, although I may talk about other media, their position on the list is based on the games ONLY.
5.) Black Widow - Marvel Ultimate Alliance
Black Widow aka Natalia "Natasha" Alianovna Romanova is a character from the Marvel Universe. Black Widow is a athelete and a gymnast. She is an expert in a ton of forms of martial arts, such as karate, judo, aikido, savate, various styles of kung fu, and boxing. She is a marksman and weapons expert. However her greatest skill is an expertise in espionage. Above everything else, Black Widow is a spy. She is often questioned as to which side she is really on, and not many people trust her.
I'm adding Black Widow on this list based on her appearance in Marvel Ultimate Alliance 1, I know she's in other games but I never played them. From the beginning of the game your character and all the other Marvel superheroes around you question Black Widow's behavior. She is disappearing at certain points, avoiding communication, and it seems like the only person who fully trusts her is Nick Fury. And since most of the characters you control don't trust Fury himself, it makes the Black Widow issue even more foggy. At one point in the game it even seems like she has betrayed SHIELD and your group and is actually working for Dr. Doom. Well when the game ends you find out that Black Widow was on the side of good all along... or was she?
Well either way Black Widow is one of the only characters who I just can't get a read on. Is she good? Is she evil? I just can't tell, and any video game character who makes you question your perception of said character, deserves a spot on a list of Secret Agents.
4.) James Bond - James Bond Games
If you know me, than you know James Bond would have to make an appearance on this list somewhere. I love the whole Bond series, own every Bond PS2 game, and even hosted Bond-Vember a little over a year ago.
Honestly I'm sick of talking about James Bond. So I'm gonna give a brief introduction and then explain why he's only in the number 4 spot and not higher on the list.
James Bond aka 007 is a fictional character created by Ian Fleming in 1953. He is a British secret service agent who works for the government to fight against terrorists and bad guys. That's really it. He's British, he's charming, and he's a secret agent.
Why is he only in the #4 spot? Because of the games he's in.
I own every Bond game on the PS2, and played the original/remake of Goldeneye and I must say in those games he isn't too stealthy. There are only a few missions that require stealth while most of the others you just run around and shoot everything. You don't really sneak around in those games, you just shoot and unfortunately that prevents Mr. Bond from being any higher on this list.
3.) Agent 47 - Hitman Series
Ahh... here we go.
This is finally a character with stealth, and he is actually playable.
Agent 47 is an assassin/hitman and if foxdark22 can include a character from Assassin's Creed then you know I gotta include Agent 47. (Even though I suck at the Hitman games) But he has guns!
Okay, before I fanboy out like crazy lemme give some background.
Agent 47 is the main protagonist of the Hitman video games and the film adaptation. His name is based off the barcode tattoo on the back of his head, which is 640509-040147.
NOTE: I looked that up.
Agent 47 is a hired gunman working for the International Contract Agency. He can speak French, English and Russian fluently. He is usually depicted wearing a black suit, black leather gloves, white striped dress shirt and red tie.
Agent 47 is actually a clone. He showed the most promise in becoming an assassin from his clone brothers. He was trained at a young age to be an efficient killer. He was trained to use all sorts of weapons with ease, and to have excellent marksmanship.
But what really matters are the games, it the Hitman games I've played you use stealth, silence, and disguised to approach a target and then take him out.
No other game I can think of relies on stealth so much, and it is so gratifying when you figure out the correct way to kill without detection.
2.) EVA - Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
While I found myself questioning Black Widows alliance, I never though EVA was a spy. The thought never crossed my mind, and that is why she is so high on this list.
NOTE: I'm not gonna talk about EVA in MGS 4 because I never played it. Bring it to X-Box 360!
EVA aka Tatyana isn't a playable character in Metal Gear Solid 3, but she is with Snake (Naked Snake) for most of the game. When EVA introduces herself to you she claims that she is a KGB Spy working for the Soviet leader on a mission to infultrate Colonol Volgin, the main baddie's, inner circle and gather as much information as she can on a mobile nuke-launching tank known as the Shagohod. While inside Volgin's HQ she used her spy skills to provide clues and information to Snake. She continued the game provided information to Snake while attempting to secure the Shagohod blueprints, and the Philosopher's Legacy (a ton of money) for the Soviets. She and Snake eventually kill all the baddies together and escape together. They share a night of passionate whoopee, and in the morning EVA is gone, and the only thing she left is an audio tape.
This is where things get balls to the walls crazy!
On the tape EVA reveals that she was supposed to kill Snake but didn't as a favor to The Boss. Then she reveals that The Boss' mission was to pretend to defect to Volgin's side to obtain the Philosopher's Legacy and Shagohod missle launch data. She took the mission even though she knew it would end in her demise. Then EVA reveals that she was working for the Chinese government the whole time. Yeah! As it turns out EVA as a child was taken by the Philosophers and raised in a joint US-Soviet-Chinese facility, receiving spy training at one of the Philosophers "charm schools," so she could become a "sleeper agent." As a result of this, she was indistinguishable from any other native-born American.
She eventually joined the Chinese People's Liberation Army General Staff Headquarters - Second Division.
So in short, she was playing EVERYONE the entire time.
Holy shit! I could not see this coming a mile a way. And I'm sure you didn't either.
1.) The Spy - Team Fortress 2
Is the Spy a secret agent? Not really, but he does meet all my requirements. He relies on stealth and cunning to get the job done, and you're never quite too sure on his alliance. YEP! He meet's the parameters, which means The Spy from Team Fortress 2 is my #1.
Now you may be asking me, WHY?
Well I'll tell you, but first lemme tell you that I do own TF2 but haven't played a lot and not in a while so if I make mistakes I'm sorry.
The Spy is a sneaky, sonofa-B. And if you play Team Fortress 2 then you know what I mean. The character himself is French and handy with knives, but that is nothing compared to his other abilities.
The Spy can turn himself invisible and then sneak behind enemy lines.
He can leave a fake dead body around to confuse enemies.
But his greatest power is the ability to disguise himself as enemy classes. He can be running with your team at one moment, disguised as one of you, but in reality he's bad and he's out to kill the high target players on your team. The Demoman... stabbed. The Engineer... stabbed and his sentry gun is destroyed.
The worst is when the Spy is in disguise and uses his disguise to call out for the Medic, and then he stabs the Medic too. Its even worse when the Medic has UBER. The Spy is just tricky. He makes you paranoid and then he uses your paranoia to sabotage everything.
I don't know what else I can say but a spy in experienced hands, is one of the most terrifying things in all of video games.
Now for those of you who never played TF2, you may be asking why is The Spy in the #1 spot. Well I just can't really say.
If you watch this video you may start to get the picture,
but you won't really understand unless you play the game.
Well g1s, that's all we got. Thanks to foxdark22, for dealing with my lateness and procrastonations, and thanks to you g1s for reading.
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