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Trade you this engagement ring for your Halo armor?

11/17/11 12:52pm
tl;dr

Eric Smith loved, lost, and then bought Master Chief armor.

When a relationship ends, it's not always easy to know what to do with the jewelry acquired over the course of the courtship. Some of us go down to the local pawn shop and then take the earnings next door to buy hand-made truffles. Lots, and lots of truffles.

Others, sell the jewelry to buy Halo armor.

Eric Smith was just a man in love. And when that man was ready to pledge his life to the woman of his dreams, he searched for the perfect ring. He sought a unique piece, just as his beloved had always specified, iced with a diamond in her favorite color- canary yellow.

And guess what? He found it. You'd think any girl would be thrilled to have a guy that devoted. But as our champion of romance explains, before he could present the ring to her, his love delivered a crushing blow:

"There are few sentences in the English language that can be as painful as the phrase “I’ve met someone else.” Here are a few of them:

• “I’m seeing someone else.”
• “I’m in love with someone else.”
• “I’m nailing the hell out this tool I met in karate class and while we’ve been driving in my car, you and I have been listening to the terrible mix CD he made me and now you’ll never be able to hear Alkaline Trio without wanting to fucking kill yourself.”

Regardless of how it’s uttered, it is utterly devastating."

She cheated. He was crushed. And the ring was in his pocket the whole time. 

So what does one do to mend a broken heart? What any therapist would tell you to do: sell that glittering ice chip, and spend the skrilla on wearable Master Chief armor. Duh.

It didn’t happen right away, though. Unable to shake the painful feelings, and unable to sell the ring in-person, Smith held on to both for months.

He finally posted the ring on eBay, where it was sold. The tidy sum of money sitting in his account was a positive for Smith, yet it was still a constant reminder of the girl who ripped his heart out and threw it into traffic to be crushed by a semi. The cash had to go.

But screw paying off graduate school loans. Oh, no; Smith was going to get his in the form of steel and fiberglass, baby.

The 40 lbs of armor arrived in seven pieces over eight months. The shoulders, forearms, chest piece, etc., came from an artist outside of Detroit. The helmet, complete with LED lights, came from a noted Stormtrooper armor-builder in the Philippines.

Smith now wears his prize proudly at conventions and events; though he says it’s hot, cumbersome to walk in, and takes up far too much space in his living room.

Some of you might be thinking “Did this dude really sell an engagement ring and buy Master Chief armor to fill the hole his cheating girlfriend left behind? Holy shit.” But Smith says the irony of his actions aren’t lost on him, and that he’s heard all sorts of theories behind the move:

• “A suit of armor? You’re protecting yourself.”
• “At events people have no idea who you are. You’re hiding.”
• “No one ever sees the Master Chief’s face. You’re trying to disappear. Sad.”

But Smith says it’s more about what Master Chief represents, than the armor itself.

“I mean, in his life story, he saved the human race. Me? I once adopted a chinchilla off Craigslist.”

Personally, I would have gone with truffles. But whatevs.

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