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Why SSX is NOT your typical "Sports Game!"

2/29/12 6:38pm
tl;dr

 Im butthurt because others have different opinions.

 Now before every yells at me saying, "Oh but Schmooblidon, that's just their opinion, blah blah blah, your just butthurt because people don't like the games you like blah blah blah." Well it's not really an opinion, the reason why you aren't buying ssx is because "it's based around sports." Now hold on a god damn second. I get that you hate sports, I hate sports, most of Screwattack hate sports, but this..... THIS IS NOT A SPORT! You: "It's not a sport?! Then what is it?" Well You, it's an EXTREEEEEEMMMEEE SPORT, theres a big difference. So you like to play THPS right? yh so does everyone, but not ssx? oh ok makes perfect sense!



Sports! Football, Mmmmerican football, baseball, tennis, basketball, cricket are all pretty lame. So why did you buy NBA Jam? and what about Mario Tennis? I saw you play Mario Golf and Smash Football! These games are fun! And nothing screams fun quite like crazy unrealistic arcade mayhem. Rings a bell doesn't it, yh it just defined SSX. 

Back to the extreme sports thing. I would never ever put snowboarding under the same category as Football. In european football, (the one im most acquainted with) you run up and down a pitch, kick a ball a few times and pretend to be injured. In snowboarding, you jump out of helicopters, and do quadruple backflips, need I say more? Well I'm gunna say more. In an extreme sport, there is always a sense of danger, everything is life and death, so you need some grand balls to do this shit. Thats why snowboarding is so cool! As well as the awesome people, the great music and the style, when someone lands a nice trick, you respond with "Holy shit!" Because they are really awesome for doing it. Football fans don't say holy shit, they just chant racist songs and call the opposing team fans, cunts. As for the footballers, apart from being paid a billion times too much, a lot of them cry like a baby when they trip over their own shoelace. So in conclusion to this segment, snowboarding is on a completely seperate wavelength to sports. 

A lot of gamers nowadays are hating on sports games for being copy pasta annual releases, me included. It sucks right? put some effort into your game! The last SSX game to be released was SSX Blur, which was a Wii exclusive, the last multiplatform title was SSX On Tour in October 2005. Thats a 6 and a half years since a true SSX sequel, this isnt titled SSX 13 is it?! 

The way I'm viewing this right now is that you think SSX is a sports game because it's like a competitive activity. Well so is racing, your telling me you don't like Mario Kart, or Burnout! Those are hella fun! And if your arguement is, it's a physical activity, well so is fighting! So every freakin game with fighting is a sports game now is it?!

Ok I think I've proven my point, feel free to post debates in the comments, I'll try and get to them all.

Much love
Schmooblidon

 

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